Done All Wrong
by CullenCat1918
Summary: The story of an out of control movie star Bella who has lost her way. Edward is a professional baseball player and the one person who wants to help Bella find herself. That is, if she’ll allow him into her life, again.
1. Chapter 1: Meet Bella Swan

Done All Wrong

Bella's POV

Present

Location: Las Vegas, Nevada

I am so glad that is finally over. Movie premiers wipe the life out of me. Good thing I had a whole bowl of weed to myself before hand. It was hard to sneak away from all of my "handlers" but I managed to do it thanks to Rosalie. I don't know what I would do without my favorite cousin/partner in crime.

Traveling all the time for film junkets and talk show interviews was so lonely that I had enlisted the help of Rosalie who gladly accepted and thrived on the party life, after all she had been head of her sorority.

I had just finished walking the red carpet for my latest movie premier, a psychological thriller where I was the love interest to the lead played by Leo DiCaprio. I personally thought I was too young to play it, but at the ripe age of 21 you're prime target for horny 30 year olds. He tried making moves on me almost everyday even though he was publicly dating some model. I just blew him off every time. I hadn't thought he was hot since _Titanic _and that was over 10 years ago. I did have to thank him for one thing and that was introducing me to a little friend named Cocaine. That shit helped me through all the crazy shit I had to deal with while filming, not to mention having to almost beat the shit out of the horny old director who tried to fuck me at the wrap party. I shivered at that thought and remembered how I almost puked just 10 minutes earlier when he had wrapped his arm around my shoulder during an interview. Of course being the talented actress I am I threw on the best fake smile in the world and acted like he was God's gift to film making.

I decided to skip the actual film. I didn't need to see my self get molested over and over by DiCaprio and all the other sleazes since I had already experienced it first hand. I spotted Rosalie flirting with some reporter just to kill time until I was done torturing myself. She saw me and quickly left the guy leaving his jaw hanging. She had that effect on men and sometimes women. She just emanated sex and no doubt was talking about some crude ass shit with him.

She had an evil grin on her face and walked up to me. "That guy was soooo boring that I decided to make up some story about being an escort, poor fool was about to shell out $5,000 to be with me tonight!" I started laughing and then noticed my high was completely gone. "Let's get the fuck out of here, we're in 'Sin fucking City' and I need to get my sinning on!" I demanded as we skipped off to our waiting limo.

Once we were in the security of the tinted windows Rosalie whipped out her coke stash and tools and we sniffed a couple of lines by the time we got to our hotel. I instantly felt better.

We were staying at The Palms hotel since every celebrity and their moms stayed there. It was great because they had in house drug dealers available 24 hours a day to all their high rollers and best guests. After all it was Vegas.

Rosalie and I practically flew through the casino floor since we were freshly high. Of course we paused several times to flirt with cute frat boys who called us. We eventually made it to our suite and I flopped onto my bed. I glanced up at the clock and noticed it was only 10pm, early by Vegas standards. Rosalie burst into my room and bounced on the bed. She was definitely high. I started laughing and then she rolled on top of me.

"Bella we need to go out! We're in Vegas and we need to get DRUNK! Plus you look super hot since you had the master crew working on your face and hair all day!" Rosalie sounded like she was trying to convince me to go out, but I had already decided to get fucked up right when I woke up and it was a miracle I had waited this long to do it.

"Let's get the hell out of here then!" I jumped off the bed and changed quickly into a deep blue mini dress that accentuated all of my best assets. Rosalie threw on a sparkly red mini dress that was about an inch shorter than mine and allowed her boobs to practically spill out. "Well aren't we the hottest things to ever grace Las Vegas?" I announced as I grabbed her arm and we exited the room.

We arrived at the hotel's hottest night club, Rain, around 11. We still had hours of partying to do. We were led by security to a private enclave that over looked the whole club. This was the area that all of the rich and famous partied as they watched normal people grind on the overly crowded dance floor.

Benny Benassi's "Satisfaction" was blaring loudly and I felt my adrenaline increase. I began dancing wildly on the couch that Rosalie and I occupied. I was running my hands threw my hair and grinding my body to the music. I knew everyone was watching me and I loved it. Rosalie eventually joined me after she got our drinks and handed me mine. We danced together drinking our Grey Goose Vodka and Red Bull for at least an hour without stopping.

I finally collapsed on the couch and felt my heart racing out of control from the combination of the blow, dancing and the drink. I took a swig of water and rejoined Rosalie for more dancing. We were interrupted by our cocktail waitress. "Excuse Miss Swan," she yelled out. I bent down to hear her better. "This was sent to you and your guest by some male admirers." She was holding a bottle of Cristal. I grabbed it out of her hand and took a swig and passed it to Rosalie who drank it without even looking at what it was. "Who sent this?" I yelled back. She pointed to a table 20 feet away. Appropriately "Sexy Chick" by David Guetta came on as I met the eyes of my admirer.

I felt my heart stop, but not from all of the toxins I had drowned it in. The waitress left and I couldn't stop staring. Rosalie eventually noticed and stopped dancing. "What's wrong?" She yelled out. I couldn't speak. For once in the past few years I was speechless. Rosalie followed my eyes and gasped, "Is that Edward Cullen?" I slowly nodded my head and snapped out of my trance. I sat down on the couch bewildered. Rosalie looked at me confused, "what's wrong with you? Aren't you flattered that Edward Cullen, stud of the LA Dodgers sent us Cristal and is that…" Rosalie squinted for a better view threw her intoxicated eyes "that's his brother Emmett Cullen! He plays in the NFL right?" I nodded my head and was finally able to speak, "Yup for the San Diego Chargers." Rosalie looked at me with amazement, "I didn't know you were such a football buff Bella."

"I'm not, I went to high school with them," I stated simply and felt my whole body go numb. And before I knew it Edward was standing in front of me. I stood up and looked into his eyes, "It's been a long time Bella," he said sincerely. Suddenly I was 16 again.

Five years earlier

Location: Forks, Washington

"Bella the phone's for you!" Charlie called out from the kitchen. I ran down the stairs too quickly and was proud that I hadn't tripped once. I took the phone from my dad and gave him a look that translated to give me some privacy. He laughed and threw his hands up innocently and left the room. I waited till he was glued to the television and spoke low into the receiver, "Hello?"

"Bella it's Alice! I tried calling you as quickly as possible, what's so important?" She sounded concerned yet amused. I tired to stifle a giggle, "Alice he looked at me today!" I leaned back against the wall and let out a sigh. Alice returned the sigh but she sounded more disappointed. "Bella this addiction you have to my brother is getting out of control! I'm going to start making you go to AA meetings!" However, Alice being my best friend laughed afterwards. "I know I can't help it Alice! There's something in your Cullen blood that makes me very attracted to you…I mean well you're my best friend and I wish I was Edward's girlfriend!"

I closed my eyes and the memory of Edward jogging from the lockers to the baseball field afterschool filled my head. I was walking from the theatre department, studying my current script when I looked up and saw him. His perfectly disarrayed bronze hair was blowing all over and not yet hidden under his baseball hat. He looked over at me gawking at him. My face flushed red and I looked back down at my script and walked away quickly. And that was it.

"Sooo…" Alice continued pulling me out of my memory, "was that it?" I nodded and simply sighed "yes". I heard Alice laugh once, "well Bella the next time Edward looks at me, I'll make sure to call you right away with the play-by-play." I knew she was teasing me, after all she had to suffer through my crush on Edward since I hit puberty. "I'll see you in the morning," I told her as we said bye.

I ran back up to my room and flopped onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling and replayed the first time I knew I was in love with Edward. It was two years prior, I was 14 and he was 15. Alice and I were measly freshmen at school and Edward was already an established baseball star sophomore. Alice's mom, Esme, was picking us up from school. I had known the Cullen's since I moved back to Forks at the start of middle school. Alice and I had instantly become best friends, both of us sharing a love for drama and theatre. Her dad, Carlise was the local superstar doctor and she had two brothers: Emmett, who was two years older than us, and Edward only one year older.

I didn't see much of them while in middle school since they always seemed to be at some sport practice or away game. The one thing about the Cullen's that I loved so much was that they were very passionate about what they did and devoted 100% of themselves to it. Alice was this way about acting and had actually convinced me to audition for my first play.

But back to that first day of high school. When Esme picked us up I hadn't realized that Emmett and Edward would be coming home with us too. Alice took the front seat and I was sitting next to a window when the two boys bounded into the car. Emmett shoved Edward into the backseat laughing the whole time. He smashed against me and quickly pulled off me. "Oh man I'm sorry Bella! I didn't know you were in here! Look what you did asshole!" Edward called out to Emmett who proceeded to duck his head into the car and saw me. He just grinned and said "sorry" and threw himself into the car. Esme just shook her head, "I can't _wait _until you boys get back to your sports and can release your energy out on the field."

Edward was sitting next to me and since Emmett was such a massive beast it forced our arms to touch. I felt energy flow all over my body. I stole a sideways glance at him and noticed for the first time how beautiful he was. He noticed me looking at him and smiled down at me, "I hope I didn't hurt you Bella, if you want I could punch Emmett for you." He gave me a lopsided grin and I felt my heart stop. I tried to form words and felt myself blush when I realized I was taking so long. "I'm fine," I managed to sputter out. He continued to smile at me and gently rubbed my shoulder, "well the offer still stands, so whenever you want me to do it, just give the word." I nodded and looked away before I would faint.

When I got home that day I couldn't get his voice and his gorgeous green eyes out of my head. It was as if he had changed from a boy to Greek God over the summer. His voice had deepened, he had gotten taller and broader and his hair was grown out from his previous buzz cut stage. I was only 14 and maybe just a delusional teenager, but I knew I was in love.


	2. Chapter 2: Alice

I woke up the next morning to a blaring alarm clock and realized I had fallen asleep fully clothed. I quickly showered and got ready for school. As I dried my hair I remembered Edward looking at me again. It had been almost a month since he had. Halfway through 9th grade Edward and Emmett had started getting rides from their friend Jasper and no longer was there any need for him to see me. I would occasionally see him at the Cullen's house but he was always in and out, too occupied with sports to care about anything else. Then the next year Alice and I were a distant memory to him and Emmett.

Emmett was a senior and the star quarterback of the football team. Scouts were at all of his practices and he already had offers from colleges such as USC and Notre Dame. Edward was the star short stop for the baseball team and was already being scouted by schools too. When they weren't busy with sports then they were out partying with every slutty girl at school. With the encouragement of Alice I delved myself deeper into acting and tried to keep Edward out of my mind. To him I was probably some drama geek with no boobs so he found no interest there.

Emmett had graduated and took a full ride scholarship to USC. Edward was now a senior and preparing to either go to college or be drafted into the Major Leagues. I was getting ready for my second starring role in a school play. I was going to be playing Elizabeth Bennett in a shorter version of _Pride and Prejudice._ It was a big deal, we had been working on it all year. Alice was playing Jane Bennett so we were able to practice lines together everyday. We had also been informed by our drama teacher that a talent scout from Seattle would be in attendance for opening night. Since my dreams of being with Edward weren't ever going to come true, I dreamt of getting out of this small town and acting in the theatre.

I heard a horn honk and ran down the stairs. Alice was waiting for me like she had done every morning since she got her own car. Edward and his Volvo never took us to school because of his baseball schedule so Alice's parents finally caved in and got her a car. "So do you think Edward will look at you today?" Alice joked. I playfully hit her on the arm, "I doubt it. It's a rare fluke for that to happen." She nodded her head in agreement. "I know, I live with him and I barely see him. Not to burst your bubble, but did you know he's dating Tanya?"

I felt my heart stop but tried to play it cool, "It's okay Alice, my bubble was burst long ago when he decided we weren't cool enough for him. But no I didn't know that." I looked out my window and Alice sensed I didn't want to hear more. Of course he'd date Tanya, she was beautiful and had huge boobs. I swear that's the only thing that teenage boys cared about for a girl to be worthy of them.

When we got to school I saw Edward and Tanya walking hand in hand towards their class. I felt nauseous and was thankful it was slightly drizzling out.

Later in the day I was at rehearsal for the play. We had only a week left till opening night. I thought about asking Alice if Edward would be attending but figured he would probably be at some baseball function.

Alice came bounding onto the stage in full wardrobe. "Don't I look beautiful Lizzie?" She insisted on calling us by our characters' names anytime during rehearsal. I was impressed, she had actually designed the costumes herself. "Well if acting doesn't work for you Alice, then you definitely have a future in fashion." She beamed with satisfaction and twirled around the stage. I laughed at her and continued to study my lines.

Alice drove me home and looked like she was going to burst with excitement. "Alice you're starting to scare me, what's going on?" I asked her carefully. She pulled up in front of my house and put her car into park. "Jasper asked me out!" she had a huge smile on her face and was bouncing up and down in her seat. I gawked at her for a moment before joining in with her. "Alice that is so awesome! How? When? Where? Don't leave out any details!"

"Well you know how he was in charge of the whole set design? Well he was commenting to me about my costumes and we kind of have been having this connection between us. Ever since we started working on the play together it's like it was meant to be. So today he said he was so happy with how our work had turned out and that we should go out and celebrate tonight!" Alice looked like she was going to pass out from happiness. She had a crush on Jasper ever since Edward and Emmett started hanging out with him. I was truly happy for her and continued to listen as she went over ideas of what to wear.

I finally left the car and told her to call me as soon as she got home. I got into my house and threw my script on the counter. I knew it forwards and backwards but I was obsessed with perfection. I cooked a quick dinner for me and Charlie and afterwards went up to my room. I quickly did my homework and then continued to practice my lines in front of my mirror. I wanted to make sure all of my emotions were displayed authentically on my face and that my body movements matched my words.

It was a little after 10pm when I heard the phone ring. Charlie was already asleep so I ran down the stairs knowing it'd be Alice. "Alice how was it?!" I asked excitedly into the phone. There was no reply. "Alice?" I asked again. "No, it's Edward." My heart stopped, he had never called me before. "Edward, what's going on?" I asked trying to hide the nerves in my voice. There was another long pause and now my heart started racing. "Bella, Alice was in a car accident," his voice broke at the last word.

Now my heart completely sunk, "Is she okay? What happened?" I asked quickly trying to grasp what he had just said. I heard a sob, "No…she's dead." My mouth dropped open and I had no idea what to say. I slid to the floor and felt tears streaming down my eyes. I hadn't realized I was still on the phone until I heard through Edward's cries, "Bella? Bella? Are you there?"

At this point Charlie came running down the stairs. He grabbed the phone from my hand and asked what was going on. Edward told him and he froze too. He said some other things that I didn't comprehend and hung up. I was numb. Charlie lifted me into his arms and held me crying as well.

The next day I stayed in bed frozen. Charlie came in a few times to check on me. I felt like I was in a coma as he explained what had happened. Alice and Jasper were driving home when a drunk driver swerved on the slick road and hit them straight on. Alice died upon impact and Jasper was in critical condition at the hospital. The drunk driver survived with a couple of bruises. I never responded to anything he said. I just took it all in and hoped I would wake up from this nightmare.

The phone was constantly ringing and I could hear Charlie mumbling words but they made no sense. None of this made sense. Alice was the most good and honest person in the world. How had she deserved this? She was so happy the last time I saw her. Her life was just beginning and it ended just like that. She was my first friend in Forks and the reason I had fallen in love with acting. We had dreamed of becoming famous together and traveling the world.

I felt like my life ended with that phone call from Edward. I stayed in bed all weekend without even showering and didn't attend school Monday or Tuesday. Jasper was in stable condition but they had put him in a drug induced coma.

Charlie was really concerned for me, but how could he be? I wasn't the one who had died physically. However I felt that all of my emotions had. I had felt sadness, anger, depression, despair, and now there was nothing left to feel.

I heard a knock on my door and Charlie slowly entered. "Bella, the Cullen's are going to have a memorial tribute in honor of Alice before the play on Friday. They really want you to be there and said if you feel up to it to say some words. Your drama teacher also called and said that Jessica could fill in for you for the play since you're in no condition to be out there."

I sat up for the first time in days and acknowledged my dad. I glared angrily at him, "I _have _to do that play! If I am to pay tribute to Alice in _anyway _it is to go through with that fucking play for both of us!" I yelled and cursed at Charlie for the first time in my life. He looked shocked at first but let it slide due to the circumstances. He nodded in understanding, "Bella as long as you can do it, but everyone will understand if you can't." I jumped out of bed, "fuck everyone," I muttered under my breath and took the longest shower of my life.

I went back to school on Wednesday and was greeted by sorrowful mourners. Everyone gave me hugs and looks of pity. No one really knew me or Alice and all of a sudden they were acting like their best friend had just died. I felt like I was going to vomit after the 10th random person of the day ambushed me with sympathy. Edward wasn't at school and he hadn't been all week. Charlie had told me Emmett flew up from school on Sunday and they were planning the funeral arrangements.

I went to the play rehearsal and everyone stared at me like they were waiting for me to breakdown in tears at any moment. I ignored them and told the teacher I would still be playing Lizzie and that I was only doing it for Alice. The teacher agreed and we went on with rehearsal.

When I got home I picked up the phone several times prepared to call Edward but never had the guts to actually do it. I knew that the Cullen's were feeling exactly like me and I wasn't sure if I could handle being around that.


	3. Chapter 3: Pride & Prejudice

Thursday after the final rehearsals I saw Esme and Carslie walking into the auditorium. Esme spotted me and ran and enveloped me in a tight and emotional hug. I hugged her back trying to hold back my tears. "Bella, oh Bella," she cried into my shoulder. I couldn't hold them any longer and the tears flew out. Carlise came over and tried to sooth us and said, "Esme dear we need to speak with the teacher about the tribute arrangement."

She just nodded and kissed me on the cheek and turned away unable to speak. Carlise gave me a hug as well. "Bella I think this is a beautiful thing what you're doing for Alice. Performing tomorrow night is the best tribute you could give her." I just nodded in agreement and he gave me a weak smile and followed Esme.

I was walking to the front of the school to wait for Charlie to pick me up when I saw the Cullen's black Mercedes. I noticed it wasn't empty. Edward was sitting in the driver's seat with his head down on the wheel.

I felt compelled to approach him but didn't have the strength too. Charlie's car pulled up and Edward lifted his head at the sound. He met my eyes and I couldn't look away. He looked at me with no emotion and I mirrored the look back at him and left.

The next day I had been excused from all of my classes for preparation for the memorial and the play. I sat in the empty auditorium all day just staring at the stage. I imagined Alice dancing around in her costume and smiling and bowing for the crowd. She would never be able to do that again. I thought of scenes from previous plays and one acts we had done together and reenacted those in my mind. I swear I could hear Alice speaking to me.

"Bella, you're going to be great tonight like you always are." A tear streamed down my face and I replied, "I don't know if I can do it, all I will be thinking about is how you should be here with me and how it is so fucked up!" Alice laughed, "Bella when did you start cussing? And don't be silly because I will be with you the whole time, you know that!" I smiled slightly as more tears streamed down my face. "And Edward will be here for you too," she added cheerily.

My smile disappeared. "Alice the only person I care about to be here is you. I feel so empty!" I put my head in my hands and tried to refrain from screaming. Alice just sighed. "Bella, you are meant for great things. My death is just a pause in it, but you will survive this and achieve all of our dreams for us." I felt like I couldn't breath, "Alice…" I looked up and her voice was gone.

I was too busy crying to notice that someone else had entered the room. "Bella…" I heard a voice trail off. I looked up and found Edward staring down at me. My face was soaked in tears and my hair a disaster but I didn't care. He slowly lowered himself into a chair next to me. "I still don't believe she's gone," he practically whispered.

I nodded slightly in agreement. "The memorial is going to be really beautiful, I know she'll be here with us…and with you when you're on stage." I just nodded again not knowing what to say. I had wished for Edward to talk to me for over a year and the only way for him to do it was for Alice to have died. All of my love I had felt for him disappeared the night he called me and told me what happened.

Edward Cullen was no one to me anymore but the bearer of bad news. "The worst part of this was I had just found out I was going to be drafted in the major leagues and was about to tell my parents the best news of my life when they got to me first and told me the worst news ever." I looked up at him, his green eyes were rimmed with red and brimming with tears. "I haven't even told anyone that yet," he said slowly and looked at me.

"Why did you tell me?" I asked my words slightly breaking. "I don't know, I guess you sort of know what I'm going through. After I found out she died, I thought there was no way I could go on with my life and play ball. But your courage to stand in front of all these people and push past the pain to perform, for her…it's inspiring." Edward took my hand in his as he said this.

The sparks I had felt the first time he touched me were no longer there. I looked down at our interlocked hands. "Edward, she would want you to go on and succeed too," I said it sharply and released his hand and left the auditorium, having nothing more to give him.

The memorial was just as beautiful as Edward had said it would be. It was a packed house, with extra chairs being placed in the aisles. Esme and Carlise gave quick thanks to everyone and Emmett gave a lighthearted speech about Alice when they were kids and also about Jasper who was still in a coma.

Edward gave the final speech and spoke about how he wished he new Alice now and all the regrets that he made by not spending more time with her. Then I took the stage alone before the play started. I hadn't prepared a planned speech and just spoke from my heart.

"Alice is my best friend. She always will be. This play couldn't be possible without her and her brilliant mind. I will forever miss her and never forget her. She is with me and all of you tonight. Alice this one's for you kid." And before I burst into tears I walked off the stage.

I gave the performance of a lifetime. I felt Alice with me the whole time. She had promised she'd be there with me and she didn't fail me just as I didn't fail her. The play was received with a 10 minute long standing ovation. I sat in the dressing room and waited for everyone to leave the auditorium before I left.

As I closed the dressing room door I abruptly came to a halt as I ran into Edward. "Edward, what are you doing here?" I asked. "Bella, I…I just wanted to thank you for everything tonight. For that beautiful performance, for always being there for Alice. You really are a special person." His words were full of raw emotion. I looked up at him heatedly. All of my pretending ran out on the stage.

"Edward, you don't speak to me in over a year and it takes Alice to die for you to decide I'm worthy enough?" I spat the words out like venom. He gave me a confused expression, "Bella I didn't mean for it to be this way." His words sounded sad but I didn't believe them. "Well Edward you were the one who chose it to be this way. And as you said yourself you didn't even know Alice anymore. I did! And she was the best person, better than you!" I yelled the last part and burst into tears.

Edward wrapped me up in his arms and I struggled to get out. "Let me go!" I demanded. "No Bella, I am so sorry, I am so sorry for everything. You have no idea how hard this last year has been for me," he was crying now.

I looked up at him through my own tears, "what do you mean this last _year? _Alice died a week ago." Edward inhaled a deep breath trying to hold back his sobs, "Bella I have had feelings for you since last year and I had no idea what to do with them! I saw you perform in the play last year and it just hit me how beautiful you are and your talent was so amazing. You blew me away…" I felt like I was spinning.

"So because you had feelings for me you felt it best to ignore me?"I asked angrily. "You don't understand Bella…I couldn't become involved with you. All I wanted was to be with you but I knew if I did that I could kiss baseball good-bye and I didn't want you to know I felt that way about you also so you wouldn't do the same with acting!" Now I felt like I was going to vomit.

I broke free of Edward's embrace. "What about Tanya? I heard you're dating her," I spat out looking him straight in the eyes. "We're not dating its just convenient…I know with her I'll never have real feelings like I do for you. You would be a big complication for me, but I can't hide my feelings anymore!" He reached for me again but I turned away. "Well Edward, I _was_ in love with you, until a week ago," and I ran out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4:Change

The rest of the school year was spent with me ignoring Edward and pretty much everyone else. I gave all of myself to that performance and had nothing left for anyone.

Edward had tried to call me and talk to me several times before he just stopped. I didn't notice or care when he did, but was glad when it happened. Every time I saw him it was just a reminder that Alice was dead. On the last day of school my drama teacher gave me a business card of a talent scout that had viewed my performance. I called her right away and scheduled a meeting with her in Seattle when school was done.

Edward graduated and the Cullen's invited me to his party but I politely declined.

I had gotten word of a senior party at Mike Newton's house and contemplated going. I had a sudden urge to be reckless and I knew there would be plenty of things there to encourage me to do so.

I borrowed Charlie's car and headed to the party. I went a couple hours after it started but it was still in full blast. When I walked into the house I felt like everyone stared at me until resuming their drinking.

Mike spotted me quickly and handed me a red cup filled with beer. I chugged it down ignoring the bitter taste that burned my tongue. He supplied me with another. "Do you have anything harder?" I asked feeling the need to consume until I passed out. He smiled and led me to the kitchen.

"This is my parents' stash," he pulled out some whiskey and vodka. He poured a shot of each and I downed both quickly trying not to gag. "Damn Bella, you didn't even need a chaser!" I smiled at him and motioned for another round. He obliged and joined me this time. I was definitely drunk and I liked it. I thanked Mike for the booze with a kiss on the cheek and floated my way into the backyard.

The keg was located out here as were most of the guys. It seemed like they had drunk girl radar because they all turned to me when I walked out. I just smiled and asked as innocently as possible, "who wants to pump me some beer?" I had ten cups in front of me in less than 30 seconds. I took two and walked to a bench to consume them.

"Bella?" I looked up and saw Edward looking at me with a concerned face. I dropped my almost empty drinks and stood up and gave him a big hug. "Edward! I can't believe you're all grown up and done with high school!" He smiled at me, "I think you're drunk Bella." I smiled back at him, "I think you're right!"

He laughed, "Well I think I must be pretty drunk too especially if you're actually talking to me." I scrunched my eyebrows together, "Edward, of course I'd talk to you. I love you." He stopped smiling and pulled me away from him. "That's not funny Bella," his voice became serious.

"I'm not trying to be funny," I said as seriously as I could back to him. I stood on my toes and leaned my head up and kissed him.

I felt him resist at first but then kiss me back stronger. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I pulled up away from his kiss, and looked up into his lust filled green eyes. "Edward, do you want to get out of here?" He simply nodded and took my hand and led us to the front of the house.

We got into his car and started driving when he pulled off the side of the road into a hidden clearing. I looked into his eyes again and felt my own lust for him start returning. I climbed into his back seat and motioned for him to join me.

He quickly obliged and we continued kissing but with more intensity. The back of my mind was screaming for me to stop but the part of me that fell in love with Edward years ago resurfaced and was now going by the name of "Alcohol". Edward pulled my shirt over my head and I helped him remove his. He gazed wondrously at me before removing my bra. He kissed his way from my lips down to my chest and back to my lips. I felt his hard on pressing against me and desperately wanted to know what it felt like inside of me.

I hastily began unbuttoning his pants and he did the same to me. Finally all of our clothes were off and I felt him hesitate a moment before kissing me and plunging himself deep inside of me. I screamed out from pain and pleasure. He let out a loud moan and continued thrusting himself inside me. He began kissing my lips again and held me close against his chest.

It suddenly became emotionally over whelming for me either due to the fact I realized I was loosing my virginity to Edward like I had always dreamed of or because of how bitter sweet it was. The bitter sweet started to out weigh the first option and that started to kill my emotions. I felt like I was going to cry. I buried my head into Edward's shoulder and before I knew it, it was over. Tears were streaming down my face, "Did I hurt you Bella?" Edward asked full of concern. "Yes, many times," I pushed him off me and put my clothes on. "Take me home," I said in the most dead voice ever, and with that the emotionless Bella returned.

The next day I woke up and ran to the bathroom and threw up all of my guts. My head felt like it was going to explode with pain and I tried to remember what happened. And like a flood, all of my memory from last night came rushing in. Oh God, I had sex with Edward. I vomited again. I passed out next to the toilet and was thankful Charlie was gone fishing.

I woke up a few hours later and stumbled down to the kitchen. My phone rang and I stared at it until it stopped. This continued for about an hour until I unplugged it. I knew he was trying to call me, but I never wanted to see him again.

I went down to the local pharmacy and bought the morning after pill. I may have been a virgin but I wasn't stupid. After I took the last pill I felt like I had flushed Edward out of my life completely. I began packing my room up and I left Charlie a long letter explaining what I was doing. I took a bus to Seattle and never looked back.

I arrived in Seattle half a day later. I met with the acting scout the same day and learned she had sent a tape of my performance to an agent in Los Angeles. She made arrangements for me to fly out there the next day to meet her.

Charlie tried calling me many times but I wasn't going to call him until I was out of state and he couldn't stop me.

I called my mother Renee and she faxed over a permission waiver to allow my agent to have temporary control over me until I turned 18. Renee didn't really care about me but was thrilled about the prospect of me becoming rich and famous. It was better that way since I didn't want her to bother me.

I started out doing small indie films and gained a lot of recognition quickly. They said they loved my raw and truthful emotions. The only time I actually felt them was when I was acting and once the director called cut, I was dead again.

I was 18 and finally free and earned enough money to live on my own. I was offered a role for some big budget film that my agent was positive would put me on the map. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be "on the map". She insisted it would just give me more freedom for the roles I choose. I accepted the role and was famous over night. I resented it instantly. The only method I found to cope was with my replacement best friend Alcohol. I drank myself to sleep every night.

A week after my 18th birthday I received a letter in the mail from Charlie. It said that Jasper was finally being released from the hospital, almost two years later. He wouldn't be the same again and was going to needs lots of rehabilitation. When I read the letter Charlie sent me explaining all of that I wanted to shred it up and burn it out of my memory. But before I could I noticed more on the back. It said that Edward was being traded from Chicago to Los Angeles and that Emmett was now the starting quarterback in San Diego. That's all I needed was to accidently run into Edward. I rarely thought of him anymore and anytime I saw his name in the paper or heard it in the news I felt sick as all the memories replayed in my mind. After I read that I took a match and lit the paper on fire till it was nothing but ash. I wish I could've done the same thing to my brain but instead just smothered it by smoking weed.

My cousin Rosalie had introduced me to my second new best friend Marijuana. She was attending school at UCLA so since we both lived in LA I decided to finally start taking advantage of my celebrity with her in tow. Rosalie was a couple years older than me so she new all of the good and bad things to do for recreation. We became notorious party girls but we always stuck to each other and never let anyone in…unless they were a really hot guy.

By the time I was 20 I had lived the life of a 40 year old. I never got involved in a relationship, but partook in the occasional one night stand when the mood felt right. Of course they'd always try to call me for round two but I just ignored them.

When I was 21 I had my first affair with a married man, and by man I mean he could have been my dad. I think that's one of the sick reasons he was so game for me. He was a big shoot movie star married with kids and all and had a clean cut image. But one night with me erased all of that for him. His name was James and it was the only person I felt any sort of attraction to since Edward. I think because of the fact it was so wrong was the reason I kept seeing him. Every time I fucked him I felt so empowered and in control knowing I was taking him from someone else. Alice was taken away from me as well as my happiness so the only way I could gain any sort of feelings was by doing the same to others.

Rosalie didn't help with the situation since she encouraged me to continue doing it. I think it was because she was hot for his younger brother Laurent. Once I started filming my last movie things with James and I died down and I lost interest again. He kept trying to contact me to a point where he was just desperate, but I cut off all my ties to him.

The movie with Leo was the last one I filmed since taking a break to party and just fuck up my life even more. The months leading up to the premiere were filled with more one night stands and drug and alcohol binges. I even stopped talking to my agent during that time. I had lost all control, but it was exactly what I wanted.

And just like that I wasn't 16 anymore but 21 and looking Edward Cullen dead in the eyes.


	5. Chapter 5: Meet Edward Cullen

Edward's POV

Emmett, Jasper and I had arrived in Las Vegas in the afternoon and once we checked into the Palms Hotel we got ready to go out for dinner and drinks to celebrate Jasper's birthday.

It was a miracle in the first place that we were having the chance to celebrate this day. He had almost died with Alice that night, and having him live and still be apart of my life gave me some sort of comfort. He was a constant reminder of Alice and I never wanted to forget her. But of course whenever I thought of Alice I also thought of _her._ I couldn't ever get Bella Swan out of my head no matter how hard I tried. Even when I was with other women she was all I thought about, but I was the last person she wanted anything to do with.

I snapped out of my daze when Emmett tossed me a beer and thanks to my quick baseball reflexes I caught it before it hit the ground. Emmett just grinned, "Nice catch bro." I rolled my eyes at him and opened my beer taking a big swig of it.

"Jasper are you sure you want to go to a club tonight? Just because Emmett wants to doesn't mean we have too. We could just play poker and drink if you want," I offered to Jasper who wasn't used to being in this type of environment. He still lived in Washington but moved to Seattle to attend school.

Jasper just shrugged and gave me an 'okay' sign with his hands. Jasper had also loss the use of his voice in the accident. The steering wheel had been shoved into his vocal chords and was lucky it didn't snap his neck. I just nodded in agreement and finished getting ready for the night.

Later after dinner, gambling, and more drinking we headed up to the Rain nightclub. We were escorted by security to our table in the reserved area. The club was packed and in full swing. The energy was pretty infectious.

Emmett ordered us beer and whiskey shots as he told us about his last game. Football season was over so he was also celebrating a couple months of freedom. But that meant for me baseball season would soon be back on and I'd be working my ass off.

I was telling Jasper about spring training when Emmett nudged me. "Check out those crazy chicks over there!" He had a wild grin on his face which made me laugh and Jasper smile. I looked over to where he was pointing and saw two girls dancing intensely. One had blonde hair and the other had wild brunette hair that was flying everywhere. My eyes instantly were hooked on the brunette's body and how it was moving under her tight blue dress.

We were all getting a kick out of watching them when the brunette girl's face turned towards us and I saw her face. It was Bella. My heart stopped instantly.

Five years earlier

Location: Forks Washington

I was 16 years old when I fell in love with Bella Swan. Before that, she had always been my kid sister's best friend. But now I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

I was at Alice's play recital for _Romeo and Juliet_. Alice was playing The Nurse, Juliet's personal confident and Bella was Juliet. Her performance was breathtaking and she looked so beautiful it was painful. She looked so natural on the stage like her purpose for being born was to be up there. I was thankful that she was in the majority of the play, but envious of Tyler Crawley who played Romeo and got to kiss Bella. This would probably be the only time it was actually okay for me to gaze at Bella for hours.

After the play ended I wanted to go up to her to congratulate her but she was swarmed by a million people. When I got home that night I laid in bed thinking about her until I fell asleep. And then I dreamt about her and about us. I dreamt that I was Romeo and would whisk her away and we'd be together forever. We wouldn't have any responsibilities, no baseball, no acting, just us.

But when I woke up I felt nothing but guilty. Bella looked at peace on stage and I couldn't pull her away from that. And I had worked my whole life towards a career in baseball and I couldn't disappoint my parents by quitting now. It wasn't fair to either of us if I ruined our dreams with my teenage hormones. Besides, Bella probably had no feelings for me anyways. I decided then and there that I would have to leave Bella alone, and distance myself from Alice since they were always together so my feelings wouldn't strengthen.

When I was a senior I had scouts from every major league team at all of my games and scholarship offers from all the big baseball colleges. I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet, because I wanted to have the college experience but I also wanted to be a professional ball player.

I was leaving the locker room and jogging out to practice when I saw her looking at me. I hadn't really looked at Bella in a long time since every time I did those feelings tried to resurface. With out realizing it I slowed down and was staring back at her. She was even more beautiful, turning more into a woman everyday. When she realized we were making eye contact her face flushed and she walked away quickly. I watched her leave until she was out of sight and continued to my practice.

That was a weird moment for us. Why hadn't she just said hi to me? Well why hadn't I just said hi to her? I couldn't stop thinking about it during my practice and messed up more than once.

The next day when I was at lunch Jasper said he needed to ask me something important. He looked so nervous I thought he was going to say he had a crush on me but then he asked my permission to ask Alice out. I just laughed and told him I wasn't her father, but if anyone was to date my sister I would be glad it was him. He looked relived instantly and thanked me.

Later that evening I was watching a recap of the USC football game where Emmett had made the winning pass. My parents were so proud of him, and I couldn't wait till they could feel that way about me too. Alice came bounding down the stairs and twirled in front of me. "Do you think this is too much? Do you think Jasper will think I'm pretty?" She asked with the most worried expression I had every seen on her.

I smiled and stood up acting like I was inspecting her with a skeptical look. Her worried face increased and she stopped moving. "What? Is it too much?" Panic was in her voice and then I broke out in laughter. "No Alice you look beautiful, and I doubt Jasper would've asked you out if he didn't think so either."

Alice finally smiled and embraced me in a tight hug. "Thank you Edward. That means a lot coming from you." I hugged her back and told her she was welcome. The door bell rang and Alice ran over and greeted Jasper. I told them to have fun and watched them walk to the car. Alice gave me a wave and smile before she got in and I did the same back at her.

I closed the door and realized that was the most interaction I had with her in months. I felt horrible but quickly decided I would make the most of our time together before I finished high school. Besides, I could try to refrain from falling in love with Bella again for a few months and then I would be gone.

I decided to go out for a jog to try and clear my mind. My cell phone started to buzz when I was a couple of miles out. I noticed the number was one I didn't recognize so I tried to regulate my breathing before I answered.

"Hello?" I was able to breath out. "Yes may I please speak to Edward Cullen," a man spoke. "This is him," I continued. "Hello Edward, this is Peter Vaughn from the draft committee. I just wanted to call to congratulate you on our decision to put you into the First-Year Player Draft." I was speechless. This was what I had always wanted.

I had decided that if I had the chance to go straight to the majors then I would forgo school so I wouldn't have any distractions. "So Edward do you accept our invitation?" Peter asked after several moments of silence. "I tried to reign in my enthusiasm. "Yes, I am very honored to accept." I was able to manage out. "Great, we look forward to seeing you soon. I will email you more information within the next few days." I thanked Peter graciously and practically sprinted home at full speed. I was so excited to tell my family.

I burst threw the front door with sweat dripping down my face and huge smile plastered on it. I was about to tell my parents the good news but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw their faces. My mother was crying and my dad had lost the color from his face.


	6. Chapter 6: Regret

"What's wrong?" I asked quickly loosing my smile. My mom just started crying louder and sank to the floor. My dad walked slowly to me and wrapped me in a hug. "Alice was in an accident, she's dead Edward," and then my dad broke down into tears. I had to hold him up because he was about to collapse onto the floor too. I was stunned. I had no reaction to it.

Everything had happened so suddenly. First I was waving to my sister and best friend, I got my news, and then this.

About 20 minutes later when my dad was able to regain some composure he explained to me what happened. He told me that Jasper was in critical condition at the hospital and that him and my mom had to go down to identify Alice's body.

"Edward, do you think you could call Bella and tell her?" Carlise asked me gravely. I just nodded, still not able to speak. Him and Esme left and I pulled out my phone. I realized I didn't have Bella's number. I went to the kitchen to our phone book and found it and attempted to call her. I felt like I was in a dream trying to call someone but could never manage to hit all the right numbers.

After about five minutes of trying, I was able to focus and dial her number. It felt like one of the worst things I would ever have to do in my life. I was about to hang up and tell my parent's to do it, when Bella answered. Her voice sounded so alive and I just wanted to sit and listen to her. She thought I was Alice and I felt even worse that I wasn't.

I told her what happened and heard her gasp and scream and then nothing. I called for her wanting to soothe her any way possible. I started to regret doing it over the phone in the first place. Then her father Charlie got on the phone and I had to explain it to him again between my own tears. When I heard Bella's reaction to the news, was when I fully realized what happened and broke down. After I hung up with Charlie I slumped over in a chair and cried for hours.

The next week was torture. I couldn't believe that Alice had actually died. I didn't go to school and I didn't tell anyone about the draft. My parents planned a memorial before the school play that Alice was supposed to perform in and wanted me to give a speech.

I sat in my room for days looking at the blank screen in front of me trying to decide what was worthy enough to be said about Alice. What I felt most was regret. Regret that I hadn't really known her this last year. And then my fingers started typing and I couldn't stop the truth from spilling out.

The day before the tribute my parents had to meet with the drama teacher at school to finalize the preparations. I drove them there since neither of them were capable of driving yet. I sat in the car with my head down thinking about Alice while I waited for them. I heard a car pull in front of me and looked up and saw Bella looking at me.

She looked so sad and I felt the same way. I couldn't even force a smile out and all I wanted to do was run out of the car and embrace her in a soothing hug, but my body was frozen. She looked away and got in Charlie's car and left.

The next day I went to school to get everything ready for the service. I went into the auditorium and found Bella alone and heard her muffled cries. I slowly approached her so I wouldn't scare her. She heard me and looked up. Her normally beautiful brown eyes looked distressed and in pain. I sat down next to her to try and give some comfort and feel some in response. At first she seemed to accept my presence and I felt compelled to tell her about the draft and how I was feeling. I was even brave enough to hold her hand. Her face looked mad and then emotionless and she let go and left. I sat in the auditorium and stared at the stage for about an hour before I finally left.

Emmett flew up for the memorial and to spend time with the family. He was taking it really hard too since he had been away at school and had even less contact with her than me. However, I felt a bit envious of him since he didn't make choice to ignore her while he was still in the same house as her, at least he was out of state. I felt like I was going to throw up on everyone, my stomach was in tight knots and I had beads of sweat forming around my hair line.

After Emmett's speech it was my turn. I didn't think I could go through it. But then I looked over and saw Bella standing on the side of the stage and knew if she had the courage to perform in front of everyone, then I could do my speech.

I took a deep breath and let it go. "Alice was the spark of my life while we were growing up. Never once did she do anything mean or even try to antagonize me like normal younger siblings do. I loved Alice very much and regret not knowing her now. I knew her then but I became so absorbed with baseball that nothing seemed to matter. It wasn't until the night before she died that I realized I had shut her out. I was appraising her on how beautiful she looked before her date with Jasper. I and smiled at her before she left and vowed to know her again. But that chance was stolen from me and I'll never live up to that promise. It is the biggest regret of my life and I encourage all of you to never make my mistake. Alice was beautiful inside and out and deserved so much more than this. I love you Alice, and everything I do will be for you."

I was surprised I was able to make through it without breaking down. Our part of the service was over and now Bella was going to speak before the play started. As I walked off the stage and she walked on I tried to make eye contact with her but she looked straight at the floor.

Her short and simple speech was perfect and her performance was beyond words. Watching her on that stage again just made all my feelings for her rush back. I felt like my heart would explode with all the emotions I was feeling. She looked so beautiful yet I could still see her pain she tried to mask away. I wanted nothing more than to hold her and make it go away. I decided I would finally be a man and confess my feelings to her.


	7. Chapter 7:Edward's Night

I had found Bella alone and tried to explain everything and how I had felt but she completely shut down and said she had loved me but now she looked sicken by my very presence.

My parents had a graduation party for me even though I begged them not to. This wasn't a year of celebration even if I was graduating high school and being drafted into the major leagues. It was just wrong not having Alice there. Bella had ignored me the rest of the school year since I confessed my love for her. My parents said they invited her but she politely declined which I couldn't blame her.

After my party which consisted of family and a few close friends, I decided to hit up Mike Newton's grad party to say my final good byes to my classmates before leaving for good. Since I knew Bella wouldn't be there, there wasn't anyone in particular I really cared to say bye to but just felt like it was all part of the high school experience. Most of these kids would be stuck in Forks forever while I would be traveling all over with baseball.

I got to the party rather late since I didn't want to stay long anyways. Right when I entered the house I saw Tanya sitting on a couch and she looked at me and just looked away as if I hadn't existed. That was perfectly fine with me, well it was my fault. After Alice died I didn't talk to Tanya at all and completely shut her out. She wasn't much company anyways and I had thoroughly regretted losing my virginity to her.

I saw Mike in the kitchen talking to Jessica and when he noticed me he shouted out for me to get a drink. I just nodded and headed out to the back where the keg was.

I had just finished filling a cup up when I saw Bella sitting alone on a bench with two cups of beer. I was utterly shocked but very happy that she was there. I chugged my cup and refilled it and approached her cautiously and was met back with an enthusiastic greeting.

Bella was drunk and she declared her love for me. I knew she would have never said that if she were sober, but the fact she had said it meant something. After she convinced me she was serious she pressed her warm lips against mine. It totally caught me off guard and I was hesitant at first but gave into the feel of her on my lips.

Kissing Bella was like nothing else I had ever experienced. The energy flowing through our mouths set my whole body on fire. She tasted so good and I could feel my beer kicking in as well.

Bella wanted to leave with me, and there was nothing else I wanted then to be alone with her. I had been wanting this for years. I drank the rest of my beer quickly and led her out to my car.

I pulled to a secluded spot that I had been frequenting since Alice died to be a lone and think. I had been wanting to bring Bella here ever since I had found it.

I turned the car off and looked at Bella wanting to just hold her and talk about what was going on, but when I saw the look on her face my mind went blank. She was biting her lower lip and peering up at me through her thick lashes. My other beer was in full force and my brain was now being controlled by my dick.

Bella proceeded to climb into the back seat before I could say anything and she motioned for me to follow her. I quickly obliged and I rested my self between her legs and continued to kiss her but with more urgency now. Her hands were all over me and she was practically purring beneath me with desire. Needless to say my dick was extremely erect and the feel of myself pushing against her was driving me insane.

As if she had read my mind she unbuttoned my pants and reached down and began stroking me. I closed my eyes and moaned and then took her pants off. We quickly were fully naked together and she was more beautiful than I had ever imagined. Bella kept thrusting her hips up towards me and I couldn't stand not being inside her anymore.

I plunged myself into her gently and she screamed and moaned. I joined her in the moaning and continued pushing in and out of her. It was the first time I had sex without a condom and the pleasure from Bella's tight wetness was making me want to explode already. I began kissing her and held her tight to me. I was about to tell her I loved her when I felt myself lose control and burst inside her. I had never felt anything that amazing before.

I had a very satisfied smile on my face and was finally about to tell Bella how much I loved her when I saw she was crying. I quickly lost my smile and asked her if she was okay and if I had hurt her. She simply said "many times" and I knew she wasn't just referring to this moment. She demanded me to take her home and I did.

I didn't know what to say to her while I drove her home. She was completely silent and wasn't crying anymore. When I pulled up to her house I told her I would call her tomorrow but she told me not to.

The next day when I woke up I remembered everything that happened and called Bella right away. She didn't answer. I kept calling her all day. She never answered and never returned my calls. She said she had loved me and we had unprotected sex. I needed to make sure she was okay and let her know I was here for her.

A couple days later my dad told me that Bella had left town to pursue her acting, but she had left without warning Charlie and he was really upset. I was upset too. I was still worried and trying to get a hold of her. I didn't know if she were pregnant or not and I wanted to be there for her if she were.

Carlise knew something major was wrong so I finally told him what happened. He said he would check the prescription database to see if she were on birth control or anything. He ended up informing me that she had taken the morning after pill the next day. I felt sad for knowing that fact, she didn't want to have any reason to ever see me again.

So I went on with my life as best as I could with out her. I played baseball in the major leagues and was gaining strength as one of the best short stops in the game. I had girls throwing themselves at me everywhere but none ever held a special place in my heart. My heart was locked up and I knew no one but Bella could release it.

I could never forget about Bella even if I had tried. She was everywhere. After gaining critical acclaim in small films she broke out in some big budget blockbuster and that meant her face was on billboards, bus stops, magazines and anything that held advertisements. She looked more beautiful than ever and I would occasionally check out People magazine to see what she had been up too. From what I gathered she was a partier.

I tried not worry when I read the tabloid headlines and saw front cover pictures of her leaving clubs late at night. I doubted she was handling the fame very well. She never seemed to want the spot light when I had known her. Every time I was in Los Angeles I prayed I would run into her, but never did.


	8. Chapter 8:Unwanted Reunion

Bella's POV

My heart still didn't start and I was starting to get scared that I had a heart attack. How was I supposed to react to this? Edward kept staring at me waiting for me to acknowledge him. I was thankful for being high and drunk because this could have gone really bad if I were sober.

I snapped out of my trance and threw on a big smile. "Edward! Wow it's been _years! _ How are you doing buddy?" I said all this as I wrapped him into a tight hug. He felt stiff beneath me, probably not expecting this response. I pulled back and notice Rosalie had stood up.

"Edward, this is my cousin Rosalie," I introduced them yelling loudly over the music. Edward politely shook her hand. I gazed up at him and noticed he was definitely not a boy anymore but a full grown man. Tall and lean and just as sexy as ever. I licked my lips as my inhibitions went out the window. There was a little voice floating in the back of my head yelling at me to tell him to fuck off, but I just couldn't with him looking so hot.

By now Emmett had made his way over to our table and looked speechless. "It can't be? No way! Is this little Isabella Swan before me?" Before I knew it he picked me up and wrapped me in a bear hug. I was surprised at his forwardness but I liked his strong arms around me. Emmett wasn't looking so bad lately either. I started thinking about having myself a little Cullen party when Edward cleared his throat and Emmett released me.

"Bella, you remember Jasper right?" Edward asked as I looked behind him and saw a tall blonde guy. I smiled and nodded at him. How could I not remember him Edward? He looked a lot different though. He had a huge scar running from his right cheek to his ear but other than that he just looked older and there wasn't much evidence of the car accident.

When I thought about the accident I felt like I was going to pass out. I needed to do something quick to help diffuse this situation. Luckily Rosalie being my forever savior swooped in. "Hi I'm Rosalie," she purred to Emmett. I saw him hold in his drool as he kissed her hand hello. Jasper stood back not saying anything while he sipped on a beer.

While Rosalie had the boys distracted I poured myself some more Cristal. "Thanks for this by the way," I motioned to Edward. He smiled and sat next to me. "My pleasure Bella…we have a lot of catching up to do," he said casually as he placed an arm around my shoulder. I almost choked on my drink. Did he really think I wanted to talk to him? If I did I would have answered one of his million calls years ago. I decided I needed to be more fucked up to deal with this.

I pulled a pouch out of my purse. I took a compact mirror and made a small line of blow and quickly inhaled it. Edward took his arm off me and looked at me with shock. I looked up at him as I wiped reminisce of the coke off my nose. "Do you want some?" I offered him.

The cockiness that had been on his face before was suddenly gone and replaced by anger. "Bella I can't do that shit. I'm a professional athlete and I get drug tested all the time. I really thought it was just rumors that you did this stuff," he said with disappointment in his voice.

Who the fuck did he think he was trying to make me feel bad about my addiction? I wanted to slap him in the face. Instead I poured another line and sniffed it right up. Rosalie was already dancing with Emmett and Jasper was just sitting quietly on the couch.

"Well what the hell are you doing here Edward? Did you like follow me?" I asked once I was finally high enough to speak to him. He furrowed his brows together, "what? No I didn't follow you here, I didn't know you'd be here! It's Jasper's birthday so Emmett and I flew him out here to celebrate. It's just a big coincidence, but I was glad that it happened."

"Well you're just ruining my night Edward," I took big drink of vodka after I said that. "Don't you think you should slow down?" He asked me trying to act like he cared. I just laughed, "this is nothing, you have no idea what I'm capable of." I took another big drink and he shook his head.

"You're different Bella," sadness coated his words. I shrugged my shoulders, "well when life pours shit all over you then that's how you tend to see things."

"But Bella you're a famous movie star just like you and…Alice had dreamed about. How can you say that?"

"I dreamt about doing this together with HER! Not alone and I'm completely alone now and I feel so empty that the only time I feel alive is when I'm killing myself with this poison!" I shouted at him. Is this what he wanted to hear? Had he come here for some sort of intervention? If so he could go fuck himself because my desire to do so with him went out the window once he started to act like he cared about me. Rosalie and Emmett stopped dancing and were watching us.

Rosalie didn't know that I had known them before. I never told her anything about my life before we started to hang out a lot and she never asked and I loved her for that. So I could understand the confused look on her face.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. "I'm going up to the room," I yelled to Rosalie who just shook her head. I left the club and when I entered the bright lights of the casino the affects of the alcohol and drugs finally hit me and I passed out.

I was just about to hit the floor when I felt someone grab me and lift me up. I looked into my saviors eyes and was met by his green ones. I closed mine and titled my head back drifting into unconsciousness.

I woke up sometime later but it was still dark. I was on a bed that looked familiar to the one I had been staying in but the room was slightly different. I started to panic but then remembered Edward had saved me. I was probably in his room. I checked myself and made sure all of my clothes were properly intact and that he didn't take advantage of me. Although deep down I knew he never would do that.

I got off the bed and headed out to the living area. He was asleep on the couch with the television on some sports channel. Figures I thought. I wasn't sure if I should wake him and let him know I was alive or just leave. I decided that I would leave, I didn't need any more interference by him tonight.

Of course right when I turned the lock to open it Edward woke up. "Bella?" I peaked behind me and saw him sit up on the couch, his hair a disheveled perfect mess. I suddenly had an urge to run my hands through it and cringed at myself for the thought. "Can we talk before you go, now that your not all jacked up?" He sounded sincere and I wasn't sure if it was my hangover or desire to touch him but I decided to stay. I was positive I'd regret it later.

I sat on the couch next to him. "Well what do you want to talk about?" I asked him since he didn't say anything.

"What's happened to you Bella?" He looked at me with the most concerned look I had ever seen. I bit my lower lip and stared down at my hands. "I don't know what you're talking about Edward. Nothing's happened to me, this is who I am." I knew he wouldn't be satisfied with that answer and he wasn't. "No this is not you. You're not the sweet…innocent girl I knew back in Forks." He stated. I let out a low laugh. "Edward if you want me to be truthful, you actually took my "innocence" away from me the last time I saw you." He looked confused, "You were a virgin?" I gave out another sadistic laugh, "Obviously." He sat back on the couch and put his hand over his eyes and let out a low moan. It reminded me of the moan he let out when he first penetrated me. My stomach started to turn at the thought and I looked away from him.

He turned to face me and placed his hands over mine. "Bella if I would've known that I never would have done that with you then…I thought it was what you wanted and that you knew what you were doing." I looked at him holding my hands and pulled mine away. "I was drunk Edward, my inhibitions were a bit low that night. Besides I hadn't given you any hints before then that I wanted you." He looked away from me almost like he would cry. "I just thought, no I just wished you changed your mind. You said you loved me." Now I felt like I was going to cry. I hadn't cried since Alice died unless I was being paid to do it. I didn't like this feeling, it was too real.

I turned to Edward. I didn't know what else to do in this situation since I hadn't been in it before. Usually when I was alone with a guy we were screwing the whole night. Then a light bulb turned on in my head and I knew how I could get out. Edward's eyes were closed as I crawled my way to his lap and straddled him. His eyes flew open and he looked shocked. "What are you doing Bella?" I licked my lips and stared at his mouth, "I'm going to be doing you very soon Edward." I attacked his lips and felt him hesitate like he did the first time but then caved in. I grabbed my hands into his hair and pulled him in closer as I grinded myself against him. He was holding onto my hips and pushing me onto him as well. My plan wasn't working, he was supposed to stop me.

I decided I needed to take further action and began unbuttoning his pants. He sucked in a deep breath before covering my hands with his. "Bella, wait. Why are you doing this?" He asked between ragged breaths. I looked up at him with my best sex eyes, "this is what you want right Edward? You want me to fuck you don't you?" He looked torn as he tried to figure out what to do. Eventually he shook his head and pulled me off his lap. I had accomplished my mission

I stood up and smoothed my dress out. "Well Edward if you're not going to fuck me then I guess we're done here," I stated simply as I left the room.

I finally found my way back to my room and was greeted by Rosalie and Emmett's naked bodies lying on top of each other on the couch. I wasn't shocked there. When she wanted something, she always got it. I smiled to myself since that was almost always my case nowadays.

I jumped into the shower and tried to wash way the reminders of the night, but I couldn't get Edward out of my mind. Now that I was sober I was able to fully grasp what had just happened. He was here, just a floor below me and his brother Emmett was naked in my living area. How had this happened? I had spent the last four years avoiding him and making sure I would never run into him in LA. It was a big city but somehow still a small town. And yet coincidently we run into each other at the same club in Las Vegas.

I hated the fact that he was acting like he cared about me. I mostly hated the fact that it took Alice to die for him to admit it. He pretty much had told me that he chose baseball over me. I obviously wasn't more important than a sport, but now that I was unattainable to him was he treating this like a game? Who can save Bella Swan first? I had many people try but I was beyond saving. I felt like I would only be happy when I got to see Alice again.

I dreamt of her often and we were always happy in my dreams. Then I would wake up and my happiness would instantly disappear. I would suppress my anger with the closet pill or bottle.

By the time I finished showering and left my room I found Rosalie sitting on the couch in a robe with a gigantic smile on her face. "I haven't seen that look in a long time," I commented quietly. She looked up at me and I swear her eyes were twinkling. "Bella I'm in love."

"You're kidding right?" I asked with disbelief. She shook her head back and forth. "Nope…I have _never _felt that way about anyone before." She sighed at the end. I sat down next to her giving her my best 'are you fucking kidding me' face. Her smile grew bigger. "Bella I know I just meet Emmett but it was like fireworks last night. It was so fucking amazing and he's soooo big!" I let out a dry laugh. "I can only imagine," and raised my eyebrows at her.

"I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. I practically had to force him out of here. He wants to go out when we're back in LA. Maybe you and Edward could join us."

"What? Why in the hell would you think I would want to go out with Edward?" I practically yelled it at her. She looked at me with a slightly confused expression. "Well I just thought since you guys hooked up last night that maybe you'd want to get together again. And since you've known them for a long time and probably didn't really have time to catch up if you know what I mean."

"Rosalie, you have no idea what you're talking about. I did not hook up with Edward and I don't ever plan on doing so! He took me up to his room because I passed out and that's it. I HATE Edward Cullen."

Rosalie just looked at me and opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. This morning was too serious for me already so I went to the mini bar and found a couple of small bottles of rum and downed them both. I quickly felt better.

"Pack you're shit Rosalie we're leaving."

We arrived back in LA later that night and I was never more glad to be home. I was thankful Rosalie didn't live with me so I wouldn't be subjected to her and Emmett. The whole plane ride home she spent it texting back and forth with him. And I was pretty sure they already had plans to meet tonight. I took out a bottle of vodka from my freezer and drank until I passed out.


	9. Chapter 9:Angels

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight and characters, no infringement intended.

**Here's a nice long chapter to tide you over until the next one. Thanks for the reviews, it's nice to know people are actually reading this :)**

**I'll try to update ASAP!  
**

Bella's POV

It was a week since I had returned from Vegas and I hadn't left my house. Rosalie called me several times each day but I ignored her since I knew she was with the Cullen's. I had spent years avoiding Edward and I wasn't about to give up just because my cousin was in love with his brother.

I turned my television on and was horrified to see Edward's face plastered on it. He was talking about some big game and I quickly turned it off before I saw more. He had also been on the front page of the Los Angeles times for hitting a game winning home run. I burned the paper in my fire place. It seemed like I couldn't escape him and he suddenly became all I could think about.

If I hated him as much as I claimed then why couldn't I get him out of my mind? He had caused me to turn into the mess that I had, hadn't he? If I admitted it I was the one who had initiated having sex with him first all those years ago and he had never forced me to drink or do the drugs I did. I was thinking irrationally and pulled out my weed stash to calm down.

A month went by and I still hadn't spoken to or seen Rosalie. The main reason why was due to the messages she left me saying _they _were all worried about me, including Edward. I was starting to hate Rosalie now too since she was acting like she was perfect compared to my fucked up mess. I guess since she found a rich famous man to latch onto she didn't need me anymore.

The only person I saw and talked to for a month was Alice, oh right and the pizza guy. I knew somewhere deep in my drugged up head I was hallucinating but I didn't care. She was here and that was all that mattered. Alice was one of the reasons I kept drinking and getting high, I didn't want her to leave me again.

Mostly Alice would play with my hair and pilfer through my extensive wardrobe gushing over the high end designers. I would sit back and watch her with a big smile on my face and feel like everything was how it was supposed to be. We were both supposed to be rich and famous so we could have all the things I had now and enjoy them _together._

One day I had been so drunk I passed out without eating and it made Alice upset with me. She was scolding me for being a mess and telling me I needed to straighten up. I told her to fuck off that I didn't need her trying to fix me too. Alice's face looked really disappointed and then she said I needed to finally have a real talk with Edward and that he had needed me just as much as I needed him when she died. She seemed to think he still needed me now.

That's what did it. I told Alice I didn't want to see her again and I couldn't believe she had even brought up Edward. She looked defeated but gave me a kiss on the forehead and I passed out.

The next day I woke up and looked for her but she wasn't there. Alice never came back. As much as I drank or smoked or didn't eat she never came back.

One morning I woke up to a particularly bad hangover and tried to find some alcohol to help cure it but I was all out. I decided to take a shower to try and wash it away, but found that I couldn't wash a months worth of a hangover with one shower.

When I got out and wiped the fog off my mirror I gasped at myself in horror. I looked awful. Why hadn't Alice told me I looked so terrible? My skin was translucent white with no color, not even after the hot shower. I had purple bags under my eyes and protruding cheek bones. I must've lost at least 10 pounds that I couldn't afford to loose. My hair wasn't thick or vibrant anymore due to the lack of nutrition intake. I looked like an emaciated vampire.

I wasn't sure what to do. I could continue this way until I died an early death or clean up and get healthy. Option one was sounding like the way to go until I heard a loud ring blare through my house. I almost jumped out of my thin skin and tried to remember if I had ordered pizza or weed. I was pretty sure I hadn't but decided to check just incase I had in my drunken stupor.

I wrapped myself in a robe and went to my front door and peered through the peep hole. I was shocked to find Rosalie standing at my door with her brows creased. She started to bang on the door with impatience.

"Bella! I know you're in there! Let me in, you can't hide from me forever as much as you'd like to! I'm really concerned about you!" She started to choke up towards the end and turned her head away even though she didn't know I was watching her.

I sighed and closed my eyes as I rested my forehead against the door trying to figure out what to do. Was this a sign that Rosalie had come the same moment I had to decide whether to die or live? I figured I somewhat owed it to Alice to show Rosalie I was still a live for now and slowly opened the door.

Rosalie was startled by the sound and quickly turned towards me. "Bella! My God what has happened to you?" She looked just as horrified as I had moments earlier in my bathroom. I just shook my shoulders as she reached for me and embraced me in a tight hug.

I stared at Rosalie as she pulled away from the hug. My face was blank and I felt like I couldn't remember how to act in front of another human.

"Bella, have you been in here this whole time?" She looked around at my dark and messy living room.

I shrugged and sat down on my couch. "I had no where to go and no one to see, so I felt no need to leave my home," I said casually.

However, I changed my tone quickly when I saw Rosalie's sympathetic eyes wash over me with pity. I didn't need her pity, she was lucky I allowed her inside in the first place.

"So why are you here?" I asked with annoyance.

Rosalie forced a small smile on her face. "Bella I am here because as much as you would like to disagree, I care about and love you. Before all of this you were and are my family first and foremost. I think we both let your fame get the best of us and I've been prioritizing my life this past month. I've finally realized what's important, and you…not your fame is what I care about."

She sounded genuine enough, hell I could even see tears brimming in her eyes which was not something that came easy to her. I didn't want to let my defenses down so quickly and scoffed at her.

"Well of course you don't care about my fame anymore since you snagged yourself a famous and rich athlete as your boyfriend."

Rosalie quickly hardened her face and attitude. "Bella if that were the case I wouldn't have even bothered to check on you now would I?"

I had to give it to her, she was a tough bitch. "Besides Bella, I'm not the only one worried about you. Your dad calls everyday to see if I've talked to you and Emmett wants to help too. I know you don't want to hear this but Edward is truly concerned for you, and has been for a long time."

I looked away from her, not wanting to let my anger increase. People cared about me, but did I care that they did? I had to decide if I did and would let them in.

It was then that I heard a small cough and looked up towards my kitchen. Alice was standing there with a heavenly glow around her and was wearing the black Monique Lhuillier gown I had worn to the Academy Awards. She looked like an angel…was she? If she were, where had she been these past years?

I kept staring at her and noticed her pleading eyes. She turned her gaze to Rosalie and then back to me. She wanted me to let Rosalie back in. I felt a struggle brewing in me. I looked back at Rosalie and saw her eyes mirrored Alice's pleading ones. When I looked back at Alice she was gone. I suppose that was all the sign I needed and took a deep breath and spoke slowly.

"Rosalie, if I let you back in my life, it is on my own terms. I am not going to rehab and I am not giving up drinking or smoking. I will slowly work my way out of this, but it's not going to be something that happens over night."

I saw Rosalie try to refrain from smiling. I knew my answer was good enough for her, for now at least. She still knew me better than anyone to know I wouldn't completely surrender.

"Bella this is great! You know I understand and I know what to expect. Just promise me you won't shut me out again."

I gave her a visual agreement by nodding, but didn't want to secure it with a verbal one.

Rosalie pulled me into a secure hug, "well first of all we need to clean you and this place up!" I let out a small laugh, it'd been awhile since I had.

The next week was spent with a cleaning crew giving my house life again and a trip to a salon and spa to give myself life as well. I had cut my drinking down to 2-3 drinks a day which was hard but not unbearable since I usually had been drinking until I passed out. I snuck in a bowl of weed once a day and ate more frequently.

Rosalie was proud of me and told me constantly to the point where it was annoying. I had even gotten some courage to call my dad. It had been months since I last spoke to him. When I heard his voice I had to refrain from crying. I realized I missed him more than I thought. He told me to come home anytime no questions asked. I truly considered it, but wasn't ready to make the trip back to Forks yet.

Two weeks later when I had a faint glow of color to my skin and shine to my hair, I reluctantly allowed Rosalie to convince me to go to lunch with her and Emmett.

The past couple of weeks she'd filled me in on the progress of their relationship. They truly sounded happy and in love and even saw each other everyday. She also elaborated too much on their vigorous sex life.

She would throw in comments about Edward here and there, but since his baseball season started she hadn't seen him for awhile. I was relieved to hear that since I wasn't ready for any more unexpected run ins yet.

I did talk to Rosalie about everything that happened in Forks with Alice and Edward. It allowed me to re-evaluate everything that happened and see things more clearly.

I had decided I didn't really hate Edward. I just needed an outlet for my anger with Alice's death and wanted him to suffer like I was. However since she was his sister, I mad him suffer double.

I felt regret and guilty but the fact he'd chosen baseball over me still stayed in my mind. Also if he'd been more social with me and Alice, events could have happened differently and possibly Alice wouldn't have died. Rosalie told me that wasn't fare to think that, but it still stayed in my mind.

We were meeting Emmett at a little café in Westwood for lunch. I had on an Angel's baseball hat I had bought after seeing Alice in my kitchen. I hadn't seen her since, but felt her presence helping to guide me out of the dark.

When we reached the table Emmett was at I froze realizing he wasn't alone. Edward was sitting right next to him and looked at me right when I spotted him. Rosalie noticed as well and quickly turned to me.

"Bella I honestly didn't know he'd be here. I thought he was still out of town. We can go if you need to…" she sounded truthful and sincere.

My eyes were still locked on Edward's and I took a deep breath. "No, it's fine, we can stay."

Rosalie looked at me skeptically but whispered "okay" and led me to the table. She sat across from Emmett forcing me to sit directly across from Edward.

Emmett had a huge grin on his face and looked like he was about to burst from holding back a laugh and was looking at me. I became self conscious, which I hadn't been since high school, and looked down at my shirt. "What? Do I have something on me?" I asked nervously.

He just shook his head and pointed at my hat and laughed out, "Nice hat Bella, very appropriate."

I looked at him and then Rosalie with a confused expression. Rosalie just rolled her eyes. Edward pushed Emmet slightly and told him to stop.

I took my hat off and inspected it when it finally hit me. Angels. Edward. Dodgers. Angels were the rivals to the Dodgers and Edward was a Dodger. My face flushed red and I looked up at Edward. He looked amused.

"I didn't do this on purpose, hell I didn't even know you'd be here Edward." I tried to conceal my embarrassment and sound strong, but it was hard to in his presence.

Edward looked even better than I had remembered from last time. Perhaps it was because I allowed myself to see beyond my false hatred and enjoy his beauty. He looked toned and his jaw was chiseled to perfection. His skin was a little warmer than usual from playing ball all day and it made his green eyes even more piercing if that were possible. And his hair was still a perfect mess, just a little shorter I assume for playing reasons.

"No harm done Bella," he replied softly meeting my eyes. "Besides, it gave Emmett a good laugh."

Emmett was still coming down from his laugh attack. "If you would have done it on purpose Bella, that would have been even more hilarious!"

He quickly stopped laughing and gave Rosalie an apologetic grin after she kicked him under the table. I smiled at their interaction and saw how easily they fit together. Why couldn't it have ever been that easy for me and Edward? I looked back towards him while I was still smiling and saw he was looking at me. He gave me a small smile and I looked down at the menu.

My emotions inside my head were going all over the place at this point. My inner demon struggled with my angel Alice about how I felt towards Edward. It was good to see him when I wasn't so intoxicated, it allowed me to think clearer. But I still wasn't sure if I could deal with this: sitting right across from him, having to converse with him, having to meet his sad eyes…they did look sad and I tried to believe it wasn't because of me, but I knew it was.

The rest of lunch was spent with Emmett talking about how his team was terrible without him and that if it was just him duplicated a bunch of times they would have gone to the Super Bowl and won. Rosalie always gave him sarcastic encouragement which was typical for her and Edward threw in little comments here and there. I just smiled slightly and would nod while I concentrated on eating more than anything. I was trying to avoid Edward's gaze and I even had to force myself to not look at him.

When we finished lunch and were waiting for our cars to be brought around by the valet Emmett and Rosalie coupled themselves off to get their good-bye kisses in leaving me and Edward alone.

He broke the silence first. "It was really good seeing you today Bella." My heart fluttered when he said my name. I could tell he was looking at me and I didn't want to look up at him because my heart would probably stop.

I just nodded as I stared at the ground. "You're looking a lot better, and from what Emmett's told me you're doing better too," Edward spoke out softly. I could tell he was hesitant to say it and I controlled myself from snapping at him.

I finally couldn't help it and looked at him meeting his eyes. "Thanks," I said simply which earned me a smile from Edward. My simple acknowledgement made him happier already which in turn was making me feel lighter, happier.

The cars pulled up at the same time and Rosalie was waiting for me already. "Well Bella, I hope to see you around again. I'll be in town all week if you ever want to get together and talk or anything." Edward said hopefully as he walked towards his car.

I just gave him a small smile and nodded, not wanting to get myself into anything yet. He smiled slightly back and then got into the car with Emmett.

When I got in the car with Rosalie she turned to me instantly. "That wasn't so bad was it?" She asked nervously. I let out a small laugh, "No it wasn't but I would appreciate a heads up next time."

Later that evening I was reading over a script I finally got to that my agent had begged me to look at. I wasn't sure if I was ready to get back to work, but needed something to occupy my mind since all I could think about was Edward. The script didn't help since it ended up being some dramatic romance crap and I tossed it in the trash. I didn't need to reenact my life, I used acting to escape it.

I poured my self a drink to help clear my mind and soon fell asleep. As I slept, I dreamt of Edward. When I awoke I was covered in sweat. It had been a very intense dream. I dreamt that we were in the backseat of his car like the night I had lost my virginity to him, only now we were older and I wasn't sad. It was an enjoyable experience for me and him. Afterwards we proclaimed our love for each other and I was positive that's what made me sweat and wake up.

As I lay in bed I just looked up at my ceiling trying to think of what that all meant. It was just a dream but it seemed so real. I decided I needed to stop thinking about Edward because it was becoming overwhelming.

Rosalie convinced me to attend Edward's baseball game with her and Emmett even though this wouldn't help me from not thinking of him. I really had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into, but figured I owed it to her for what she had helped me through. We sat behind the home team dugout at Dodger's Stadium waiting for the game to start. The players, which included Edward, were all out stretching and warming up on the field. I spotted Edward immediately. I would probably always be able to much to my dismay. He had just fielded a ground ball at short stop and stretched his long muscular body as he threw it to first base. I also had to admit he looked pretty damn hot in his uniform. I shook my head trying not to pay attention to him too much and noticed some one quite striking standing next to him at third base. He was taller than Edward and more muscular and darker. It was his turn to field a ball and as he threw it I got a glimpse at his jersey and saw it read "Black 25".

I turned to Rosalie and whispered to her, "Who is Black?" She smiled and whispered back, "Jacob Black, he's the third baseman obviously, and one of Edward's least favorite people on the team. He's a little younger and super cocky which pisses Edward off the most." Rosalie laughed a little at that.

I smiled innocently but my mind was going wild with the thoughts of what I could do with Jacob Black. He could definitely distract me from thinking about Edward. I had promised Rosalie I would behave at the game, but afterwards everything was fare game. The fact that Edward couldn't stand Jacob made him even more appealing to me.

When the warm ups finished the players started heading to the dugout. Edward seemed to spot me right away and gave me a lopsided grin and I tried to ignore the fact that my heart stopped when he did. Ever since I had decided I didn't hate him anymore, all of the feelings I had ever had for him such as love and lust came back when I was around him. It didn't help that he always looked breath taking handsome and that he also was very cordial to me. But that pissed me off because I wanted him to be a real asshole so I would have reason to hate him and to have had reason to hate him this whole time.

Jacob saw Edward smiling and followed his gaze till he met mine. He raised an eye brow at me so I raised one back with a little smirk. Jacob nudged Edward and said something to him with a big grin which made Edward look at him in disgust and storm off to the dugout. It appeared that Jacob laughed silently to himself before throwing me a wicked grin and heading to the dugout too.

I already liked Jacob. I knew something could easily happen with us. The look he gave me said it all and I knew that look anywhere.

The game ended and we were to meet with the some of the players at the celebratory after party at a Hollywood night club. I went back to Rosalie's place and changed with her while Emmett went back to Edward's to get ready with him.

How did one dress when partying with professional athletes? Amazingly enough I never really had before since most of my partying had consisted of rock stars and married movie stars. I decided to consult Rosalie since she was in love with one.

She got excited that she got to play dress up with me and decided to squeeze me into some tiny black shorts with a pale pink flowy top that almost looked like lingerie and 5 inch black stilettos. I let my hair hang loose and slightly wavy, made my eyes super smoky to offset the pale pink and left my lips nude.

We arrived to the club after Emmett and Edward. We took longer to get ready which was fine with me because I didn't want to be stuck in the same car as Edward and lust after him all night when I had my target set on Jacob.

The players from the team were already partying hard in a roped off section with girls that were either groupies or significant others. I saw Jacob first and noticed he was eyeing a red head that was dancing provocatively near him. I decided to make my move early so he wouldn't get caught up with anyone else and also before I saw Edward.

I walked confidently towards Jacob locking my eyes on him and immediately drew his attention away from the red head. He stared at me and took a sip of his beer without taking his eyes off of me. His eyes were filled with lust already and I licked my lips as my lower extremities started to awaken. It had been over 3 months since I had last had sex which in my book considered me to be a virgin again.

I finally made it to where Jacob was and stood staring up at him. He was tall, very tall, possibly the tallest person I would ever be with which excited me further when I thought about what he would be packing below the belt.

"Hi, I'm Bella," I purred up at him as I extended out my hand to lightly touch his. He had gave me his sexy and wicked grin from earlier. "Oh yes, I know who you are Bella, I'm Jacob Black."

**Hope you enjoyed it! Oh that Jacob Black always has to weasel his way into Bella's life!**


	10. Chapter 10: Jake

**This chapter was inspired by _NewMoon _the movie since it will be out this week! Enjoy and the next chapter will be Edward's PO_V..._coming soon! P.S See _Remember Me_ it is amazing!!**

**I own no Twilight characters.  
**

Jacob extended his hand and took mine gingerly and held it longer than necessary. I stared up at him through my lashes trying to play coy.

"You know me Jacob? I thought we were meeting for the first time," I added playfully.

He let go of my hand and took a sip of his beer nonchalantly. "Well of course we're now meeting for the first time, but obviously everyone already knows Miss Bella Swan party girl."

I tried not to cringe at his words and I supposed it was true I was no longer seen as an actress these days. "Well then Jacob, you don't know me at all," I kept my playful tone and gave him a flirty slap on his arm.

He let out a low chuckle. "I do know that my teammate Edward is in love with you, but if you felt the same way you wouldn't be talking to me right now."

My playfulness quickly vanished when he brought up Edward and love. "That's not true Jacob, Edward doesn't love me. There's no reason he should."

"I see him almost everyday Bella. Anytime we're in an airport he picks up magazines with you in them. I even over heard him talking about you once with our teammate Garrett. At first I thought it was some crazy celebrity crush he had on you, but when I saw you at the game watching him and the look he gave you…there's obviously history there," Jacob explained.

I didn't really know what to say to Jacob in response. "Well I think you're too observant Jacob, and if I wanted to talk to or about Edward I would've gone to him right?"

He just raised his eyebrows at me.

"Right. I didn't. I came to talk to you," I emphasized with a finger jab to his stomach which I found to be hard as steel.

Jacob looked down at my finger then placed his hand gently around mine. "And why would you choose to do that Bella, other than to make Edward mad? You have to know he doesn't like me much."

My playfulness returned with his touch and I grabbed the beer out of his hand and took a big drink. "Does it matter to you either way?"

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "No, I just wanted to engage you with some small talk before I took you back to my place."

Forward. I loved it. I guzzled the rest of his beer and he handed me another one. "Well let's quit the small talk. We're both looking for one thing tonight and it isn't going to happen here," I added.

Jacob took my beer and finished the rest. He then took my hand and proceeded to lead me to the exit. I had a content smile on my face, that is until I accidently caught Edward staring at me in disbelief.

The look of disappointment on his face was exactly what I wanted. After everything I had done and said to Edward, I didn't deserve his love. I needed to make him not love me, even though my heart was secretly yearning for him. I knew only he could save me, but I wasn't ready for that or deserved to be happy. I wasn't a good person anymore.

Leaving tonight with Jacob was sure to do the trick. I looked away from Edward quickly before I changed my mind.

As Jacob and I waited for the valet to bring his car around, I received a frantic text from Rosalie:

"WHERE THE FUCK R U GOING?!"

I took a deep breath and text her back:

"DON'T WORRY. I'M W/ JACOB. KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN."

After I hit the send key I turned my phone off and got into Jacob's awaiting car.

The ride back to his house was uncomfortable to me. I definitely wasn't drunk enough to enjoy any of this. He rambled on about stuff that happened in the game earlier. But my mind was back with Edward and the disappointed look he gave me.

I closed my eyes for a minute and imagined I was worthy enough of his love and was leaving with him. But I knew that would never be true.

When we got to Jacob's place I immediately asked for a strong drink. He poured me a glass of scotch and I drank it quickly without tasting it.

"Damn Bella, that's expensive ass shit. You're supposed to savor it." Jacob said half laughing.

I slammed the glass down and motioned for a refill. He obliged and I was starting to feel better, more like my old selfish self again.

I noticed in between drinks that Jacob wasn't joining in and that he was obviously sober enough to have driven us to his place. This started to bother me since I didn't want to be the only one having fun.

"What? No drinks for you Jake?" I asked mockingly. He just gave me a small smile.

"No, I think I'm good for the night, but have as much as you want, it's a free country." I liked that he said that. It was definitely something Edward wouldn't have said I was sure of. "And I like that you called me that," he added quietly.

I looked at him confused. I was already drunk enough that I couldn't remember what I had just said seconds earlier. He caught on to my confusion and filled me in. "You called me Jake. I like it better than Jacob, it's much more personal."

He seemed honestly content with that so I gave him a small smile and put my empty glass down. I remembered what I had intended to do with him when we got here and decided to act on it.

I walked over to Jake slowly and met him sitting on his couch. I lowered myself into his lap and placed one of my hands on each of his shoulders. I tried to look into his eyes to get things going but he was looking down and not at me. I moved my hips a little to get his attention but he still didn't look up. I knew he hadn't passed out since he had barely drunk anything.

I hesitantly cleared my throat. "Ugh Jake? Are you okay?" When he looked back up at me I noticed a tear streaming down his face. This took me by utter surprise and I quickly got off his lap. I had no idea what the hell was going on.

"No, I'm sorry Bella. I had every intention of bringing you back here and doing exactly what you wanted me to you but seeing how sad you are…I just can't." He sounded choked up.

I looked at him incredulity. "What do you mean so sad? I'm not sad Jake, I know what I'm doing and I know what I want _us _to be doing."

He finally met my eyes and his were filled with extreme sorrow. "Bella I know that you're trying to hide some sort of extreme sadness that happened with you and Edward…hell I'm doing the same thing, but not with him," he added in quickly throwing me a quick smile. Wow, he could still joke in a serious situation?

Jacob continued, "My dad passed away a year ago today." I looked at him not knowing what to say. "I hadn't really thought about it at all today until you called me 'Jake'. That's what he used to always call me. No one else really ever has, so when you did, my memories I tried to repress of him all day came flooding back."

I quickly felt myself sobering up. I placed a hand on Jacob's arm. "I'm sorry Jacob…I didn't know…"

He smiled at me, "Can't expect you to have, I mean we just met right?" Jacob sounded like he was joking, and I found it odd yet refreshing that he could still find humor in a sad situation.

"My dad, Billy, he had been in a wheel chair for about five years after a drunk driver plowed into him and my mom while driving. My mom didn't survive. Billy was left without the use of his legs. The accident only fueled my ambition to play baseball professionally so that I could live up to his expectations for me and not waste my abilities, while I still had them. But then he got really sick last year and since his body was already weak, he couldn't make it. All that's left now is me and my two sisters. I'm the man of the family and you have no idea how difficult that is." Jacob was on the verge of tears at this point and all I could do was embrace him in a hug.

My feelings towards Jake had changed drastically from when I first laid eyes on him and only took in his physical form. But now that I was getting to know what was on the inside I found it almost refreshing to know other people suffered like me.

"You can tell me what is making you so sad Bella if you want…it makes it feel better when you can relate to someone," Jacob whispered into my ear. I felt goose bumps cover my body when his breath hit my skin.

"Well you're right Jake. There is a lot of sadness involving me and Edward. But it has more to do with his sister Alice, who was my best friend, then anything else. Like your mother, she too was killed by a drunk driver in a car accident…" my voice trailed off at the end. I didn't talk to anyone about Alice beyond Rosalie and it was strange that I was so easily able to with Jacob.

Jacob tightened our hug. "Bella I'm so sorry. That is awful, and I'm sorry for Edward too." I nodded my head while I rested it in his shoulder. "I guess we do know each other a little better than we thought we did," Jacob sighed into me.

I looked up and met his eyes. We were both feeling the same sorrow at that moment and he leaned in with a tender kiss. At first it was slow and soft but gradually all of our emotions poured into the kiss that deepened with every breath.

Jacob laid me down gently on the couch and began working his hands on my body. It felt amazing to have another human touching my body again, and with such tenderness. There wasn't the lust that I had felt with all my other partners, but a mutual respect for our emotions.

He slowly removed my top and I removed his revealing his overly defined physic. He was definitely the buffest man I had been with. His russet skin glowed under the dim lights of his living room as I explored his body with my hands. I allowed Jake to easily slide off my shorts while I worked his pants down. I was slightly in awe when I was greeted by his generous arousal.

We continued kissing until he gradually found his way into me. I moaned with pleasure and he growled back with his. Jacob continued working himself in me as I pressed my hips into his to deepen the movements.

"Bella oh my God, Bella. You're amazing…this feels sooo…" he groaned with ecstasy. "Goooooood." I nodded my head in response and added my own groans not being able to form coherent words. I hadn't felt this emotional connection since…I couldn't think about him right now. I looked up into Jake's eyes and held his face in my hands till he met my gaze. The look he gave me was so soulful it threw me overboard. He kissed me deeply and muffled my screams of pleasure with his mouth until he couldn't hold back his any longer.

Jacob collapsed on top of me and I could feel his heart beating rapidly in sync with my own. The feelings I was having for Jake in this moment were one's I had never experienced. I was confused as to what they meant and didn't know how to interpret them. As much as this had meant to me, and as much as I thought it did for Jake, I still couldn't force Edward's face out of my mind.


	11. Chapter 11:Done

**I don't own Twilight.**

Edward's POV

I had arrived back in Los Angles earlier than I expected. I called Emmett when I got home to see if he wanted to meet for lunch since I hadn't seen him in weeks.

During my absence he had been filling me in about the intervention Rosalie had done with Bella. I was extremely happy to hear she was finally accepting some sort of help, even though she wasn't willing to give in 100% yet.

I had no idea that the whole month she ignored Rosalie that she was holed up alone getting drunk and high until she passed out. I hadn't tried to contact her during that time because for starters she had made it clear in Vegas that she wanted nothing to do with me and also Rosalie said it would probably make matters worse if I did. It was an agonizing month not knowing if she was alive or not.

My mind was consumed with my concern for Bella the whole time and it showed on the field. My playing was getting sloppy and I didn't really care. After all, baseball was the reason I had shut Bella out of my life in the first place. It wasn't fair to her then and it still wasn't now that I let baseball be priority. It was just a game, not someone's life.

To make matters worse my new team mate Jacob Black was a constant prick and was always riding me about my lack of focus. He didn't do it in the normal tactful way, but in an 'I don't give a fuck about you or your feelings' kind of way.

I had to give it to him that he was a pretty talented third baseman and would only get better with age and experience. But he was a cocky son of a bitch and that over ridded my respect for him. He wasn't just cocky on the field but in life, especially when it came to women. It seemed like he was with a new girl every night. He liked to gloat about it too the next day during warm ups and would try to hassle me about not getting enough 'ass'. I would try to shut him out of my head as much as possible which was easy to do since Bella occupied most of it.

I had found out Bella was in contact with Rosalie again while I was gone for away games. I tried to convince Emmett to get Bella's phone number from Rosalie, but he said that he knew that wouldn't be possible and that Rose would have his nuts for being stupid enough to ask. Even though I was disappointed about that it still made me laugh because Emmett was totally in love and pussy whipped by Rosalie. They matched each others opposites perfectly and it only made me yearn for Bella more when I saw how happy they were together.

So when I called Emmett for lunch I could hear the apprehension in his voice as he decided to go or not.

"Emmett, it's a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer. And for you it should be a very simple 'yes' since it does involve food," I joked hitting his weak spot.

"Of course you know I'd never say no to lunch, it's just that I had already agreed to go with Rose…" he didn't continue and I thought it was weird that he couldn't easily tell me that.

"It's cool if you already have plans with her, I mean she is your girlfriend. Why was that so hard for you to say?" I asked curiously.

There was a brief pause before Emmett let out a sigh. "I don't know if I should do this, I think Rosalie will kill me if I do. But you're my brother Edward and I owe you this."

Emmett truly sounded concerned and I was totally confused since he was being so sincere sounding. "Emmett, really it's not a big deal, we could go to dinner instead…"

He cut me off. "No it's just that we're also having lunch with Bella." Emmett said it so quickly that I wasn't sure if I heard him right.

"Wait, so Bella is coming too is that why you're being weird?" I asked slowly.

"Yes, and I think it would be awesome if you could come too because I don't want to have to divide my time between you guys because you two have issues with each other."

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see it. "I don't have issues with her, the ball is entirely on her court."

Emmett seemed to perk up at that idea. "Well then Edward, how would you like to have lunch with me, Rosalie, and Bella?"

This time I let out a sigh, "I'm not sure if that is the best idea." Emmett just chuckled. "Edward, she has no idea what is good for her right now, and I know you definitely are. It will be a nice surprise for her I'm sure of it!"

I reluctantly agreed to go, but told Emmett that he had to tell Rosalie and for her to inform Bella. I didn't want to totally piss her off.

While Emmett and I waited for the girls at the café I noticed he was trying to suppress a grin the whole time. I knew he was up to no good with that face. When they finally arrived, the look on both Bella and Rosalie's faces when they saw me confirmed my suspicion. Emmett hadn't told them. I wanted to punch him in the face right then, but held it back. It was easy to since my concentration quickly focused on the sight of Bella. She looked beautiful like always, but she also looked a lot healthier than the last time I had seen her. I smiled a little at her to make her feel more comfortable.

Lunch wasn't completely awkward. Bella stayed quiet most of the time, and Emmett had broken some of the tension with the stupid Angel/Dodger stint.

When lunch was over Emmett and Rosalie conveniently went off together to get the cars leaving me and Bella alone. I broke the silence by giving her a simple and polite comment about how nice she was looking. She had thanked me and that little gesture of her actually acknowledging me made my heart skip a beat.

After I said my good-bye to Bella and got into Emmett's car, I turned to him and socked him as hard as I could on his shoulder.

It caught him completely off guard and he actually cried out from the pain. "What the FUCK was that for Edward?!?" He demanded thoroughly outraged.

I met his anger with my own. "Because I SPECIFICALLY asked you to TELL Rosalie and Bella that I would be here, and because you quiet obviously DIDN'T tell them like a Grade-A JACKASS!!"

Emmett rubbed his arm where I had hit him. "Geez dude you didn't need to wail on my arm like that! It's not like she ran screaming from you or anything! She seemed to take it rather well. I know she wouldn't have come if I had told them in advance, so I was doing YOU a favor too by not telling her!"

I knew Emmett was probably right, but it still pissed me off because there could have been the chance that she went running from me and it would have made things a lot worse. I didn't apologize to him when I left the car to make sure he knew I was still pissed. He just waved it off and yelled at me from the car, "Whatever Edward, see you at your game tomorrow!"

The next day while I was changing in the locker room my phone buzzed with a text from Emmett:

"HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU AT YOUR GAME! MAKE SURE YOU SEE ME IN THE STANDS!"

Well Emmett was hard to miss and he would be seated right by my dugout so that wouldn't be a difficult task to accomplish. I assumed he probably brought some stupid poster of me or was wearing a too tight t-shirt made for girls with my name and number on it, because those were things he'd done before.

I wasn't really paying attention while I was walking out onto the field to warm up until I felt someone run into me. I looked up angrily since there was plenty of room for whoever it was to have gone around me. Of course it was Jacob with his cocky grin jogging backwards as he looked at me.

"You actually going to man up today and get some plays Cullen?" He asked mockingly.

"Go fuck off and don't talk to me unless absolutely necessary," I spit back at him. He just laughed because he had accomplished his mission to piss me off before running onto the field. He stopped right at the entrance though and when I got there I realized why.

Our usual groupies were there waiting for autographs and pictures or whatever they could weasel out of us. Jacob was always more than happy to oblige and would end up with a few phone numbers when he was done. He wasn't beyond sleeping with someone who obsessed over him, in fact I was sure he thrived on it.

"EDWARD!" I heard a high pitch voice scream my name. I winced and turned towards the sound. There was Victoria, the red headed groupie that was at all of our home games. She was pretty attractive for being somewhat crazy, but that wasn't enough for me to actually want to know her.

"Hey how are you?" I asked being cordial. Her whole face lit up with excitement. "A lot better now that you're here. I'm so glad your playing today! I was scarred that you were feeling sick or something since you hadn't been playing well lately."

Well that stung a little that even one of my super fans admitted I was sucking. I forced a smile. "Well I'm actually feeling better, so don't be shocked if I actually do well today." I left her with that, not wanting to carry on anymore conversation with her as I ran onto the field.

I was stretching in left field and heard someone plop down besides me. Of course it was Jacob. "I got her digits for you Cullen," Jacob laughed as he shoved a piece of paper at me. I shoved it back at him. He just shrugged and placed it in his pocket.

I let out a loud sigh of annoyance making sure he was able to hear it as I got up to do some sprints.

After we were done warming up I headed to the dugout and remembered to look for Emmett. I saw him immediately and then my eyes quickly scanned two seats away from him and met Bella's. Nice one Emmett. I had to give it to him, he really was trying. I wasn't able to hide back my smile to Bella but was able to control it from being the overly exaggerated one I wanted it to be. She actually returned the smile back to me which made me lose my concentration until I felt someone nudge into me.

Jacob was grinning at me and I knew he had seen my interaction with Bella. It wasn't a secret that I talked about her to some of my team mates, but I didn't know Jacob had been ease dropping.

"Dude, I thought you just fantasized about actually knowing her, but now I see you do, have you tapped that??" Jacob asked too curiously. I looked at him in disgust and went into the dugout.

Having Bella at my game, knowing that she was safe made it a lot easier for me to concentrate on playing. I didn't make a single error the whole game and got a hit every at bat. Of course my coaches and managers were excited telling me they were starting to have second thoughts about me till this game. I just shook it off and acted like it was no big deal.

I checked my phone when I got back in the locker room and saw I had another text from Emmett:

"I KNOW U LIKED UR SURPISE & U 4GIVE ME! PARTY 2NITE?"

I responded back to him while smiling and shaking my head:

"YEAH TEAM IS HEADED TO CLUB IN LA. BRING ROSE & BELLA…"

I was reluctant to send that but figured the odds were in my favor since she had actually made an appearance at my game.

Emmett and I got ready at my place and the girls were going to meet us at the club. I would have rather picked them up and gone together but Emmett insisted that would be too much.

When we got to the club most of the team were there already with either their significant others or some random chicks. I mingled with them for awhile until I spotted Jacob. He was groping some poor red headed girl while drinking his beer. Then I saw the girl's face and realized it was Victoria. I couldn't believe he actually called her and invited her out, actually I could believe it.

I motioned to Emmett and we headed to the bar and ordered some beers while we waited for Bella and Rosalie. We were already on our second round when Rosalie finally approached us.

"Hey guys!" She said sounding more chipper than usual. She gave Emmett a quick kiss hello before he got up and offered her his seat.

I looked around and quickly noticed Bella wasn't with her. I figured it was too much for her to meet us here. Emmett noticed too and I was thankful he brought it up first. "Where's Bella, babe?" He asked Rosalie as he wrapped his arm around her.

She looked around confused too. "She was right behind me when we got here, I thought she just got stuck in a people jam." Rosalie jumped off the stool and looked around for a minute until she froze. Emmett and I both followed her gaze over to where Jacob was standing next to a pretty brunette…Bella!

All of my blood rushed to my face. Why in the hell was she talking to him?! Rosalie looked at me just as surprised, "Edward, I didn't know she knew him or what the hell she's doing…" she trailed off as we saw them finish the beer they were sharing and start walking towards the exit.

I couldn't keep my eyes off Bella if I tried. I felt a thousand emotions go through my head and all of them involved anger, hurt, and disappointment, but most of all anger. When Bella was halfway to the door she looked up and met my eyes. I knew my face had a disappointed and angry look stuck on it but I wanted her to know exactly how I felt, but I was too frozen to try and stop her.

Her look almost caught me off guard. At first it was confident like she hadn't cared I saw her with him, but then I saw it flicker to…sadness? Why the hell would she be sad right now?

"Edward, I didn't know…" Rosalie continued as she frantically texted someone. I knew it was to Bella but I didn't care anymore. She was her own person and I had no impact on her life and she had made that perfectly clear more than once. It was time for me to move on. Bella was like my own addiction and I needed to cut her out of my life like she had done to me.

I turned back to the bar and ordered a double shot of the strongest whiskey they had and took it without even wincing. Then I got another beer and looked back out to the club.

Emmett and Rosalie hadn't said anything to me because I'm sure they had no idea what to say to that. They knew I couldn't stand Jacob and the fact he just left with Bella…well that was like sticking the nail into the coffin. I was done.

I spotted what I was looking for, and gave Emmett and Rosalie a quick, "later" as I took my beer and headed for my destination.

The wild red hair was calling to me like a bulls eye on a target. I tapped her on the shoulder as she danced with one of her girlfriends. She turned around quickly meeting me with expectant eyes. "Edward! I knew Jacob wasn't lying that you'd be here waiting for me!" Victoria grabbed my hips and pulled me into her as she began dancing on me. I was taken aback about what she had said about Jacob, but then I felt the warm sensation of the whiskey hit me like a ton of bricks and all I cared about was getting this girl back to my place.


	12. Chapter 12:Home

**I had some free time today and was feeling creative so enjoy.**

**I don't own Twilight.  
**

Bella's POV

I woke up quickly when I noticed I had become extremely hot and sweaty. I tried to get up but felt a weight holding me down. It was then that I remembered Jacob and I had fallen asleep together on the floor with him naked on top of me. I tried to push his huge mass off of me to no avail. He eventually stirred a bit and I was able to squeeze out from under him.

While he remained sound asleep I grabbed my clothes and tip toed into the bathroom. I jumped into his shower and turned the water on a cooler temperature than I normally did. I toweled off and quickly threw my clothes on.

When I returned to the living room I found Jacob sitting on the couch with his boxers on and sleep still evident in his face. I suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable in this situation since I wasn't used to doing something like this with emotions involved.

Jacob must of noticed my apprehension because he got up off the couch and wrapped his warm arms around me. "Hey beautiful, why are you up so early after our busy night?" He said while nuzzling his face in my damp hair.

I laughed nervously. "Well I was burning up under you and had to cool off, I guess my body couldn't handle of your hotness." I felt him laugh a little under his breath.

"I knew you weren't going to be able to resist me Bella," he said as he led us to his couch. However, the way he said it bothered me because he didn't say it in a joking matter, more of a matter of fact. I quickly snapped out of my foolishness.

"Oh really? How were you so sure of that?" I asked sternly as I stayed standing in front of him as he sat down.

"I saw that look you gave me at the game yesterday after you looked at Edward. The look you gave him was completely different from the look I received. Not that I didn't mind you totally eye fucking me, but I found it odd that you had just looked at him with such longing and then quickly shifted to me without a second thought." Jacob said casually.

I hadn't realized how observant he was. "Why do you care? Does that bother you or something?" I asked keeping my stern voice.

He laughed coldly. "No not at all! It was actually more perfect than I could have planned out myself. I can't stand Edward and his perfectionist self. I'm sure you don't really know but he is considered the star of the team, getting all the endorsement offers and the lucrative contracts. Well about a month ago after he returned from a Vegas trip he was totally out of it. First we all thought he was recovering from some major ass hangover, but then I heard him telling Garrett about his little run in with you. I didn't hear all the details I just thought he was lusting after you. He didn't recover from his month long hangover and was terrible on the field and all the coaches were pissed. I was ecstatic of course because it gave me time to shine and I was starting to receive all of Edward's offers and he didn't even seem to care."

I did not like where this story was heading. My heart felt like it was shattering into a hundred pieces once again as I felt the guilt for what I had put Edward through after Vegas.

Jacob noticed the pained look on my face and raised his eyebrow before continuing. "So when I saw you at the game today and the brief moment you and Edward shared I knew there was more depth between you two. But when you looked at me…well I knew I could use you to my advantage. I found out that you were going to the after party and made a little arrangement for Cullen and the rest is history…" he let out a low chuckle and I wanted to slap him as hard as I could in the face.

My face was beet red and I was forcing back my tears that wanted to pour out because I was so pissed. "So you used me to get at Edward?" I asked gritting through my teeth.

Jacob threw his hands up defensively. "Yeah and you used me for the same reason right Bella? I can't imagine you would just get with me so easily for any other reason."

I stopped breathing. I had done the same thing. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why had I even done that to Edward? I wanted him to stop caring about me because I didn't deserve it but now I was positive he'd hate me and I had done more damage than intended. I really didn't know how bad it was between him and Jacob and regretted everything that happened last night.

I tried to reign in my anger and speak coherently. "So if we were just using each other than what was all that emotional bullshit about your dad?"

He laughed again. "My dad's been dead to me for years, but the drunk mother fucker is still alive out there somewhere. I just used that to really find out what was going on with you and Edward. The information will be exceptionally useful for later on."

I felt like I was going to throw up. I couldn't believe I had actually allowed myself to fall for his game and allow myself to feel something for him. "You're a cruel person," I spat at him as I grabbed my purse and ran to the door.

Jacob quickly jumped off the couch and reached me before I got to the door. He pinned me up against it as I struggled to break free. "Get the FUCK off of me!" I yelled at him.

He was able to force me to look at him directly, "well aren't we calling the kettle black? If I'm cruel then you must be sent from hell Bella, because you're the only person who could truly hurt Edward."

I stopped struggling. I knew it was true and all I wanted to do was drown my self in a pool of vodka until blackness washed over me. Jacob released me from his grips and had a content smile on his face. "I'm glad we understand each other better Bella, maybe I'll see you around," Jacob said as he opened the door for me. I gave him a 'go fuck yourself' look before I ran out the door.

After I felt I was at a safe distance away from Jacob's house I pulled my phone out. I didn't have my car and needed a ride because all I needed to make things worse was a dick head paparazzo to catch me like this. I scrolled to Rosalie's number before changing my mind. I had to get out of Los Angeles before I caused Edward anymore harm. I called a taxi and waited for it at a nearby coffee shop and when he picked me up told him to take me directly to LAX airport.

I walked up to a ticket agent and asked for the next flight to Seattle. I was in luck that one was leaving in an hour and since I didn't have any bags to check in, security wouldn't be a problem.

I went to a nearby souvenir shop to buy a sweatshirt and flip flops since I was still in my outfit from the prior night and was feeling suddenly insecure. I also bought a hat to help disguise me. I knew people recognized me but I just allowed my unwelcoming demeanor to show so no one dared approach me.

When I sat down in the chair waiting for my plane to arrive I saw a discarded newspaper and picked it up to distract me. I inadvertently turned to the entertainment section and was greeted with a picture of me and Jacob with the headline: **"SHE'S BACK! BELLA SWAN OUT WITH LA DODGER JACOB BLACK!" **I didn't even dare to read the rest. I closed my eyes and tried to remember when I had become such an evil person.

Three hours later I was in Seattle. I hadn't been in this airport since the last time I left. I had contemplated calling Charlie and having him pick me up but I didn't want to bother him if he was working, so I rented a car and headed to Forks. On my way I made a pit stop in Port Angeles to pick up some necessities I would need since I had no idea how long I'd be in Forks.

As I drove through the main street I spotted my old favorite book store. Alice and I had gone there as often as we could and would spend all day there. We both had loved the little place, and besides the stage it was another home for us. I sighed and debated whether to go in or not. I wasn't sure if I could handle it yet. Across from the bookstore was a run down bar and I thought about visiting it first to get some liquid courage before going in. But I decided alcohol had already helped me do enough evil and parked my car and went into the bookstore.

I stepped in and the familiar ring of the door made me feel like I was 16 again. I closed my eyes and took a deep inhale. The smell of the old leather bound books mixed with the fresh paper ones was intoxicating. I wanted to bottle it up and save it forever. I ran my finger tips along a row of books and took it all in. The place hadn't really changed much except for some modernization here and there.

As I walked slowly around the next two cases of books I was startled when I ran right into someone. "Oh shit, I mean sorry I wasn't really paying attention," I apologized as I looked up at the person who I ran into. I had to look higher than normal and realized I was looking into a pair of familiar blue eyes. They looked just as surprised as mine did. I took a step back and realized I was standing right in front of Jasper.

"Jasper, hi," I squeaked out since I hadn't been prepared for this at all. I knew he couldn't speak after the accident so I didn't expect him to return my hello. Instead he gave me a small smile and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a palm pilot and began typing and when he finished he extended it to me.

I read it to myself: _"Hello Bella. What are you doing here?" _That was a good question and I looked at him and gave him a small smile. "Well Jasper I needed to come home finally, how about yourself?"

He took the device back and typed out again and gave it back. I was amazed at his speed with it but assumed this was his main form of communication and that eventually it would become like second nature. "_I work here, well actually I own the place."_ This caught me off guard almost as much as me actually seeing him. He smiled at me and wrote more. "_Alice would always rave about this place during drama so we came here during our date and I fell in love with it just as much as she did."_

I didn't know what to say. I had no idea that Alice and Jasper had come here on their date, I actually never had the chance to find out anything that happened beyond the accident. Jasper noticed I was speechless and continued. "_After I was released from the hospital I came here pretty much every day until the owner offered me a job."_

I felt like such a selfish bitch at that moment for never even thinking about how Jasper had dealt with the accident. He was the one that was actually with Alice when she died. I don't even know what I would have done if I had seen her die…I did remember the old lady who used to own the book store. Her name was Claire and she was like a grandmother to me and Alice.

Jasper must have known I knew her and wrote, "_When Claire passed away a year ago, she left the book store to me. She said that she new I would cherish it as much or even more than she did." _

I knew Claire was right. I came here to feel some of Alice's presence again, and Jasper had done the same thing, but it hadn't taken him over five years to do it. I realized it was getting late and wanted to make it to Charlie's before it got dark.

"Jasper," I started softly. "I am so sorry I wasn't there for you. I never even considered how you were feeling. I was super selfish and angry and let it over shadow everything. I know Alice really cared about you and as much as it makes me sad to say, I know she probably died happy since she had been with you." I let the last part come out in a whisper as I tried not to choke up and squeezed my eyes shut. I suddenly felt Jasper's arms around me as he enveloped me in a comforting hug and I allowed myself to sink in his arms and actually…cry.

A few minutes later I wiped my tears away and thanked Jasper for his comfort. "_No_ _Bella, thank you. I've been waiting for this day for a long time. It gives me some closure to know you are finally accepting things and getting better. It has made me so sad to know how all of this has affected your life so negatively. How long are you in town?"_

"I'm not sure, I guess as long as I need to be I suppose," I answered after reading his touching message.

"_Well you know where to find me now if you ever need to talk or anything, take care Bella."_

I gave Jasper a hug good-bye and thanked him as well before I left the store. The cold and fresh Washington air felt refreshing against my warm skin and I took another deep breath before heading home.

It had just gotten dark when I reached Charlie's house. I turned my car off after parking in front and saw the kitchen light was on. I then saw Charlie appear at the window where it looked like he was washing a dish. I hadn't seen him in years and barely spoke to him but all I wanted now was to run in and hug him and tell him to make me feel better like he had done when I was younger and got hurt. I took a deep breath and walked up to the front door.

I thought about just walking in, but since Charlie was a sheriff I didn't want to catch him off guard and decided to knock on the door instead. After I knocked I heard Charlie yell out that he was coming and a moment later he opened the door and looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"BELLA?" He asked in disbelief.

"Hi Dad," I replied trying to hold myself together as much as possible. He quickly reached for me and pulled me into a tight hug and took me in the house. I started crying again for the second time that day.

**Thanks for the reviews and reading my story! The next chapter will be Edward's aftermath. **


	13. Chapter 13: Hangover

Edward's POV

"Ahh!" I shot up with the most startled cry ever produced from my throat and winced in pain due to the dryness of it. I was broken out in a cold sweat and had been startled awake by a horrible nightmare that involved Bella, Jacob, and that crazy red head fan. That's when I felt something reach down into my crotch and I was startled once again when I saw the hand belonged to the crazy red head fan Victoria. It hadn't been a nightmare caused by sleep, but one that occurred in real life. What the fuck had happened?

"Eddie you didn't need to scream to wake me up, I'd wake up ready for you easier than that!" Victoria tried to say seductively to me but I felt my stomach churn and held back the actual bile that rose to my throat.

"Um Eddie? I'd prefer not to be called that, and I think you should probably leave." I tried to say it as polite as I could manage but just the sight of her was sickening to me, especially as I recalled what she said about Jacob telling her I was waiting for her. It had all been a setup by him and I guess Bella was in on it too. Well it worked, they got me to really fuck up.

I got out of bed and threw Victoria her clothes and then shut myself into the bathroom hoping she'd be gone by the time I got out.

After about 30 minutes of an extended shower and brushing my teeth about 10 times since I had no idea where my mouth had been on her that night, I finally exited the bathroom into my empty bedroom. I sighed in relief that she was gone and checked the rest of the house to make sure she wasn't camping out somewhere.

I grabbed a bottle of water and flopped down on my couch and noticed the newspaper was already on my coffee table. Attached to it was a note:

_had a great time last nite eddie u really know how to hit home runs! call me when u r ready 4 the 2__nd__ inning! _

_ 3 Vicki 555-555-5555_

_PS check out pg E1!_

I quickly crumpled the note and tossed it in the trash and debated whether or not I wanted to see what gossip was in the entertainment section of the LA Times when my curiosity got the best of me. Of course smack dab on the front and center of the page was:

"**SHE'S BACK! BELLA SWAN OUT WITH LA DODGER JACOB BLACK!" **

Along with an accompanying photo of them leaving the club and a brief article:

BELLA SWAN WAS SPOTTED WITH THE NEW STAR OF THE DODGER'S, JACOB BLACK, LEAVING A TRENDY HOLLYWOOD CLUB AROUND 1AM. SOURCES SAY THEY WERE GETTING HOT AND HEAVY IN THE CLUB BEFORE LEAVING TOGETHER IN THE SAME CAR.

BELLA HADN'T BEEN SPOTTED OUT IN AWHILE LEAVING US TO BELIEVE HER PARTYING WAYS WERE IN HER PAST. HOLLYWOOD HAS BEEN BORING LATELY WITHOUT ITS TROUBLESOME STARLETT AND WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE HER BACK! KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR JACOB BLACK AS WELL WHO HAS BEEN LINKED TO OTHER CELEBRITY HOTTIES RECENTLY!

It had to be a joke. The article sounded so cheesy and ridiculous that I almost didn't believe it. But I had witnessed it first hand so I knew it was true. I had decided last night that I didn't care about Bella anymore and I was already finding it hard to do.

I wanted to know what happened with her and Jacob after they left and I wanted to make sure she was okay. I most of all wanted to go to Jacob's house and beat the living shit out of him but I knew my coach's would be put out if I disabled one of their star players.

After downing another bottle of water I threw on some basketball shorts and a shirt and headed out for a run to clear out my head. I ran up to the local hills and regretted not bringing an extra bottle of water since it was already pretty hot out and I was still dehydrated from all the alcohol the prior night.

I didn't want to stop running yet because the more I exerted my body the less pain I felt. My heart felt like it had been broken into pieces and then smashed into a fine powder for good measure. While I ran it pounded furiously against my chest not allowing me to feel the false pain. A few miles later I reached the top of the hill and was sweating and panting like crazy. On a regular day I would have been able to do this easy. I felt like I was about to collapse and knelt on the ground as I tried to cool off.

"Edward, please don't give up on her yet," I heard a voice that I hadn't heard in years. I stood up and spun around and saw Alice sitting under a tree.

"Alice?" I asked in disbelief.

"Of course it's me Edward, you didn't think I forgot about you right?" She spoke with a giggle.

"I um…I just, how?" I asked as I slowly walked towards her.

She smiled and patted the ground next to her. I obliged and sat down next to her. "I'm not really here, but am I always in here," she said as she pointed to my heart. "You're hurting and Bella is hurting and you need each other. I've been trying to tell her that too but she is being so stubborn!"

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. I knew I was delirious right now but Alice's presence was very comforting. "The only thing Bella is hurting is me Alice, I'm pretty sure she's doing just fine with Jacob Black right about now."

Alice shook her head making her black spiky hair fly. "No Edward, she needs you but she won't admit it but she will soon."

I laughed to myself. "I seriously doubt that," I said as I turned back to Alice only to find she had left. The shade under the tree was refreshing and I ended up falling asleep.

I woke up awhile later not exactly sure what time it was but the sun looked like it was preparing to set so I headed back home.

When I got home I switched on my lap top and was greeted with a new message in my inbox. It was from Jasper. Besides texting, email was how we connected most and I liked to keep in contact with him as much as possible. I opened the message with no subject.

_Hey hope things are better…but I have a feeling they aren't. You'll never believe who came into the bookstore today. That's right you didn't guess it, Bella. She's gone back home. And since she is in Forks and you are in Los Angeles, I'm positive things aren't right. I'll let you know if I see her again, just thought this info would be useful if you didn't already know._

_ -Jasper_

Bella was in Forks? But I had just seen her in LA with Jacob. Jasper hadn't mentioned that Jacob was there too, I'm positive he would have had he been there. Something was really wrong and Jacob had to have been the main source for it. I knew Bella hadn't been home since she left.

Before I knew what I was doing I had my car keys and cell phone in my hand as I headed to my car. I didn't bother changing or taking a shower since what I was prepared to do next didn't require me being clean.

I sped out to the main streets and up a few miles where I knew Jacob lived. My car screeched to a stop in front of his house and I ran up to the door and knocked on it furiously.

Jacob flung open the door and he looked like he just woke up. "What the fuck man?" he asked sleep apparent in his voice.

"What the hell did you to her Black? So help me God if I don't beat the shit out of you this second!" I roared at him as I tried my hardest from hitting him on the spot.

He finally woke up to that and a huge grin spread over his cocky face. "What did I do to her? You really want all the details? Well first I made her turn into emotional putty for me and then I fucked her brains out. Happy now?"

My stomach churned and my heart stopped. I had tried to prepare myself for the worse but actually hearing it was nothing compared to imagining it. Jacob began to laugh when he saw the tortured expression on my face.

"Wow you two really have a lot in common. That's the same face she left here with." Jacob said in between laughs.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Yeah this morning after Bella realized I used her to piss you off she made that same face. I was surprised at how easy my charms worked on her, I thought she must really not like you to fall for me so easily. But still it confused me some when she had that same tortured ass expression on her face when I told her I had made some bullshit up about my dad and then used her to fuck you over. If she didn't like you then why would she be mad? So if she actually cares about you that makes this even better and I'm sure will hurt you worse!"

I couldn't hold back any longer. That smug grin on his face that he had from making Bella hurt undid me. I launched myself at Jacob tackling him onto his floor and held him down as I began to pummel his face with my fists. He was struggling to block the blows and to get me off of him, but my adrenaline was out powering him as he became a bloody mess beneath me.

When I thought I had at least broken his nose and maybe a rib or two I got up and spit on him before walking out of his house.

"YOU'RE FUCKING DONE CULLEN! JUST WAIT TILL THE MLB COMISS HEARS ABOUT THIS, YOUR OVER!" Jacob attempted to yell at me as I left and I wasn't sure but I thought I heard a faint laugh before I got into my car and sped away.

I called Emmett after I took a shower and explained everything to him. He told me not to go anywhere and was at my house in 20 minutes. As much as we had figured, the cops eventually showed up to my house to question me about the fight.

Since there had been no actual witnesses to the fight they didn't arrest me. But from the visible damage done to my hand from beating Jacob they said if he decided to press charges they would have to.

Later that night I received a phone call from my manager. The MLB commissioners had gotten word about the fight and saw the official police reports. Since I was the one who had inflicted the injuries on Jacob they fined me $100,000 and suspended me from a month of games.

Needless to say my coaches weren't pleased but I didn't care. There was no way I could have been around Jacob let alone play a game directly next to him. He was going to be out for awhile too since I had broken one of his ribs and his nose like I had thought. So his plan actually back fired since he wouldn't be getting any play time from his injuries.

"What are you going to do now?" Emmett asked.

"I'm going to go see Bella whether she wants me to or not. I'm going to Forks." I responded as I booked the next flight to Washington.

Emmett dropped me off at the airport an hour later and wished me luck. I boarded the flight and closed my eyes, instantly falling asleep.

I dreamt of Bella. I dreamt she was happy and I was happy. I woke up when the flight landed feeling hopeful. Being home and away from the California lifestyle would be refreshing and maybe Bella would find some clarity and my dream would come true.

I rented a car at the Seattle airport and headed to Forks without stopping. I went to my old home where my parents no longer lived but kept as a vacation house. I hadn't been here in years but it hadn't changed at all and I felt extremely at peace.

It was too late to see Bella so I decided to settle in and plan out how I would actually go about seeing her in the morning.

**I'm going to be posting the beginnings of another story I started writing before _Done All Wrong_. I haven't titled it as of now but it is a Vampward story mainly involving Edward and Alice at first. Check it out and let me know what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14: Wanted Reunion

Here's a long chapter for you all. Enjoy!

I don't own Twilight :(

Bella's POV

I awoke the next day sometime around noon. I couldn't remember the last time I had been able to sleep all the way through the night. I looked around the familiar room that hadn't changed since the day I left. My bed still had the same purple comforter my dad had once bought me.

The only unpleasant thing about waking up was remembering what a disaster I had let my life become. The massive headache pounding away in my head was a constant reminder of it.

It had been almost two days since I had last had a drink or any kind of drugs. My body was definitely going through withdraw but having a sheriff for a dad; it wouldn't be the wisest thing to snort a line.

I checked my purse just incase I had a hidden stash but remembered sadly since I had just flown on a plane I didn't bring any with me. Hopefully Charlie wasn't a big drinker, otherwise when he got off work his supply might be gone…I shook my head and roughly rubbed my eyes. I needed to stop myself from these thoughts. They were only going to get me in more trouble since drinking and drugs had done nothing but help me fuck up in the first place.

I decided to do something I hadn't done pretty much ever, and go for a run to clear my head. I hoped the fresh air of Forks would help to soothe my headache. I dug through the bottom of my closest hoping my old gym shoes were still there.

As I frantically searched through loads of stuff I couldn't recall owning, I pulled out a picture from a stack of papers. It was of me and Alice right after we had performed in _Romeo and Juliet_.

I remembered taking this picture clearly with her because Edward was the one who took it. I had kept it hidden away when Alice gave me a copy because just the fact of knowing he was the one who took it and was looking at me when he did so gave me hope. But now I just realized it was a stupid thing teenagers do when they have crushes and keep junk that the boy they like merely touched as a memento. However, Edward had admitted he liked me then so maybe it wasn't so stupid after all.

I also remembered the huge smile he had on his face when he took it and the flutter my heart made when our eyes made contact, but I hadn't gotten a chance to see him the rest of that evening.

I sighed and gently placed the picture to the side. I finally found my shoes and knew where they'd be taken me. I was going to visit Alice.

After throwing on some old gym shorts and tank I tied my shoes and picked the picture of me and Alice up and headed down stairs. I grabbed a bottle of water, already proud of myself that I didn't even attempt to take the can of beer calling my name in there. I left Charlie a note and headed out.

I lightly jogged along the empty roads of Forks heading towards the cemetery. I hadn't visited her since the funeral although she had made it a point to visit me in various troubled moments of my life.

When I reached the entrance I slowed to a walk. I remembered exactly where she was buried in the small site and slowly made my way to her headstone. It was a simple yet elegant stone just like Alice would want.

I touched the top of it and closed my eyes as I felt the sting of tears making their way out. I knelt down in front of the stone with my head bent down and silent tears streamed out. I looked back at the headstone and noticed something I hadn't before. There was a picture of an angel above the inscription. It was very fitting since Alice was now my personal angel.

I pulled the picture of us out of my pocket and smoothed it out.

"Alice I remember this day so clearly. It was our first big production and we were so proud of our accomplishment…we couldn't wait till the next one. And then Edward came up grinning like it was the best show on Earth and acting like a giddy fan demanding a picture from us. I can honestly say I think he was my first real fan…but we were all so happy then and how could a whole year change things so drastically? First, Edward took himself out of our lives and then…and then a drunken asshole took you out of my…_our _lives! I know it now Alice, your gone from him too. I was so ignorant and selfish not to see how it affected him too! He was your brother for crying out loud! He obviously would love you no matter what, and even though that last year he wasn't as vocal about it, I know you knew he still and always loved you. I just never had that security with him, to know that he'd always be there for me and love me like he did with you. And now I've ruined it all to hell again! I know what I have done is beyond repairable and now that I finally realize that I love Edward still and never stopped, it's too late. I fucked up and he will never forgive me for what I did, and honestly I can't blame him," my last sentence was barely audible between my massive sobs.

"And I saw Jasper yesterday. I know he still loves you and misses you like crazy. He owns our favorite bookstore in Port Angeles, but I'm sure he visits you often and has told you that himself."

After I drained over five years worth of tears out of my system I leaned my back against Alice's stone and closed my eyes.

Edward's POV

My alarm went off several times before I actually got out of bed. I new I was procrastinating but I didn't know how I would go about approaching Bella yet. She had no idea I was here yet and I'm sure she also thought I hated her.

As much as I could ever try, I had never, and would never be able to hate her. I took a quick shower trying to think of a plan or things to say but decided on just going to her house and playing it by ear.

After I got dressed I grabbed my keys and took my rental over to Bella's house. Amazingly, I remembered the directions to her house easily from all the times I had picked her up for school with Alice. Then a pang of guilt hit me when I remembered the reason I had stopped picking her up.

I was crazy for her and thought the best thing to do about it was to leave her alone and avoid her and her best friend, my very own sister. I was an idiot and it led to nothing good. I could understand fully why Bella would blame everything on me, I was the one had abandoned them in the first place.

I nervously pulled up to Bella's house and saw that her dad's police cruiser was in the drive way. I got out of my car and headed up the porch and rang the door bell.

Charlie opened the door and he looked like he had just seen a ghost. "Edward?" he asked with obvious surprise.

"Hello Charlie, how are you?" I asked politely.

"Well I'm very dumbfounded at the moment, but also pleasantly surprised. Bella came home yesterday," he said with delight.

I smiled, "Actually that's the reason I came over. I was hoping I could speak to her."

"Oh right, well she left a note that she went for a jog, but she should be home soon if you want to wait," Charlie offered.

"I think I'll try and see if I can find her on her way back and give her a lift," I responded.

"Okay sounds good, it was really nice seeing you Edward," Charlie said earnestly. "I hope I'll be seeing more of you around."

"I hope so too," I said as I waved good-bye and headed to my car.

I started aimlessly driving down the streets of Forks to see if I could spot Bella. After about 10 minutes of not seeing her I decided to go to a place I thought she might be.

I drove to the cemetery and parked my car by the entrance. No other cars where around nor any other people. I walked over to Alice's grave, scanning for Bella as I did so. I almost gave up until I saw a few strands of brown hair blow from the front of Alice's stone.

My nerves came back and I decided to approach her slowly so as not to scare her. When I got close enough for Bella to hear me, I cleared my throat. "Bella," I spoke softly.

She jumped up quickly and turned to look at me while grabbing at her heart. "Edward?!" she sounded like I scared the crap out of her even though my intentions had been not do so. I gave her a small smile to show I meant no harm.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she caught her breath from being startled.

"I…I came here to see you," I said simply.

She looked confused and then scared. "Why would you do that?" she whispered out slowly.

I took a few steps closer to her. "Bella I love you, and I always will no matter how much you try to push me away. I am here for you and always will be. I just need you to let me in…"

She was shaking her head in disbelief. "Edward, how can you say that after everything I have done to you? How do you not hate me?" She sounded as if she were on the verge of crying.

"Bella I just told you, I could never hate you. I already know what happened with Jacob, and I am so sorry you had to go through that with such a disgusting person…" Bella cut me off.

"_You're _sorry?" she asked in disbelief. "_You _have nothing to apologize for Edward! I am the idiot that put myself in that awful situation and _I am SO sorry!!"_ Bella seemed truly pained and I hated seeing her like that.

I quickly closed the distance between us and enveloped her in a tight embrace. She didn't try to pull away, but instead seemed to melt into me and finally let go and broke into tears.

I soothed her and held her not ever wanting to let go. "Bella I came here to see you and to make sure you were okay. And actually as crazy as it sounds, Alice was the one who told me you needed me."

Bella looked up at me through her damp lashes. "It's not crazy Edward, she told me to finally let you in. And I finally am ready to. I love you too Edward." The sincerity and love I felt in her words made my heart stop.

I lifted her chin and brought her lips to mine and kissed her deeply and passionately, and for the first time really felt her return the kiss the same way.

After kissing for what seemed like hours and just holding each other it started to turn dark. "We should probably go," I said reluctantly, not wanting to let her go. She just nodded and then slowly broke from our embrace. She bent down to pick something up and held it to me.

"This is why I came to visit her," she said softly as she held a picture of her and Alice up. I remembered that picture because it was one of my favorite ones of the two, and I had taken it.

I smiled. "I remember taking that picture after your play. I also remember wanting to tell you how amazing and beautiful I thought you looked up there but never had the chance. And I was also extremely jealous that Tyler Crawley got to kiss you."

Bella smiled the smile I had fallen in love with years ago for the first time in a while. "Well if it makes you feel better, he had awful breath."

I let out a loud laugh. "Well no, I just feel bad for you."

She continued to smile and laughed with me. She reached for my hand and I took hers and wound our fingers tightly together as I led her to the car.

She hesitated before getting in. "So now what do we do?" she asked seemingly to not really know.

"Well I'm suspended from baseball for a whole month," her mouth dropped open in surprise and I continued, "I'll explain later, but I figure we just be Bella and Edward, the kids we once were and rediscover each other once again."

Bella nodded her head in acceptance. "I think that sounds like a good idea, and I can't wait to hear why you got suspended," she said with a knowing smile.

"I'm staying at Charlie's in case you were wondering," Bella added after she got in the car.

"Yea I figured that, I actually stopped by there first and he said you were out. He seems genuinely happy that you're home."

"I've missed him so much more than I realized. I've missed this whole little town so much…but how did you know I was in Forks in the first place?" she asked curiously.

"Jasper. He emailed me right after your visit to his bookstore," I explained. "I hope you don't mind."

"No! Not at all, I guess I should've assumed he'd tell you, but I'm truly glad he did," she said.

I pulled up in front of Bella's house and put the car in park. "So how long do you plan on staying here?" I asked her.

"As long as it takes," she said with a shrug. "I'm in no hurry to leave, especially now."

I leaned into her and she leaned closer to me until our lips were joined again. "Bella would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Her eyes were still closed from the kiss and a smile spread on her lips as she nodded yes. "That sounds perfect, pick me up at five?"

"Five it is. Have a beautiful night Bella."

"I will now that you're here," she purred as she left the car.

I waited till she was safely in the house and she waved good-bye before leaving. As I drove home I had to pinch myself to make sure I hadn't just dreamt it all. Bella loved me and I loved her, I couldn't wait until I saw her again.

Bella's POV

The next day went by quickly as I prepared for my date with Edward. This would actually be our first official date and I felt like a giddy school girl.

I fussed over my hair longer then necessary and played with my makeup until I felt it was perfect. The only flaw was I had nothing to wear. In my haste to leave LA I had not packed a single item of clothing. I had already burned the outfit I wore that night with Jacob and everything in my closet from high school was too plain for a date with Edward. Would this have been the way I would've acted had we actually gone on a date back then? The thought made me even more nervous and excited at the same time.

I still had an hour before Edward was supposed to pick me up so I took my rental down to a local dress boutique hoping they'd have something that was current looking.

I opened the door and quickly browsed through the scarce selection. I found a couple of cute dresses and took them to try on. The fitting room was locked so I went to the sales girl who was fiddling on the computer and hadn't even noticed I was there.

"Excuse me?" I asked nicely.

She looked up with slight annoyance. "Yes?" She asked until her eyes almost bulged out of her head when she recognized me. "Bella?" she squealed out.

Fuck. It was Jessica Stanely. The most annoying gossiping bitch from Forks High. "Hi Jessica, been a long time," I said politely.

"It sure has! Wow I can't believe you remember me, well I guess I was pretty popular in high school, but you just know so many famous people now right?" For a girl who lived in Forks, WA all her life, it was amazing at how well her valley girl accent had developed. "What brings you to little old Forks?"

"Oh just visiting my dad you know…hey so can I try these on?" I asked trying to not sound annoyed.

She noticed the dresses in my hands. "Oh yeah sure, but why would you wanna wear these when you own Prada and D&G gowns?"

"I packed light," I said shortly.

"Okay sure," she said as she bounced her way to the dressing room. She unlocked the door and left.

As I tried the dresses on I could've sworn I heard her already gossiping about me being there on the phone. I thought I left LA to get away from that crap. I sighed and decided on just taking all the dresses and picking one out when I got home.

I plopped the dresses on the counter, but not before noticing Jessica quickly shut her phone. "Sorry, my mom is always checking on the shop," she lied.

After she rung me up she pulled her phone out again. "Do you mind if we take a picture together? This would look so good in the shop if women know that _the _Bella Swan shops here."

"Sure why not," I said while biting my tongue. I quickly left after that disaster and immediately regretted the picture. She was probably really going to send off to TMZ or some tabloid and soon enough they'd be stalking me in Forks too.

When I got home and started to change my whole body began to slightly shake. I knew I was nervous but this was just ridiculous. Then I realized it was my third day without a drink or anything and I tried to calm myself down. _You can do this Bella. For Edward and Alice and for yourself._ I took a deep breath and finished getting ready.

A few minutes later Edward was at my front door right on time. I flung it open and had a huge smile plastered on my face and was greeted by a heartbreakingly beautiful Edward. He was wearing a gray button down dress shirt that was rolled up to his elbows and he left a couple buttons by the collar undone. His hair was its usual perfect bronze mess and he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

He handed me the flowers while he smiled. "A beautiful bouquet for a beautiful lady," he said as suavely as possible.

I began laughing hysterically as I took the flowers and quickly placed them in a vase.

"They are beautiful Edward and you are as well," I said as I kissed him on the lips.

We got in his car and he started heading out of town. "So I figured we could go to dinner in Port Angles," he suggested.

"Sounds great, I've already had one too many run ins with busy body Fork high alumni," I said as Edward raised an eyebrow in question. I went on to explain what happened at the dress shop.

Edward pulled up in front of La Bella Italia which was the best Italian café around. Edward got us seats towards the back so we could have some privacy. Of course there were noticeable stares of recognition but everyone was civil and left us alone.

A waitress came over and took our drink orders. Edward ordered a beer and I was looking at the wine list trying to determine if I could handle a glass of wine. I decided I could just do one and ordered a glass.

"I've haven't been here in years," I said as I over looked the menu. "But everything seems the same for the most part."

Edward nodded in agreement. "My family and I would always come here for dinner, the mushroom ravioli is my favorite," he stated as he closed up his menu.

I looked at him with my mouth hanging open. "What?" he asked sounding insecure all of a sudden. "Do I have bread stick crumbs on my chin?" he asked as he wiped at his face.

I started laughing. "No it's just the mushroom ravioli is my favorite too!"

Edward smiled and reached for my hand over the table. "Well I guess we'll make it easy on our waitress then."

The waitress came back shortly with our drinks and took our order. Edward immediately took a generous sip of his beer, I assumed he was some what nervous as I was. But I hesitated before sipping my wine.

Edward noticed. "Is there something wrong with the wine? Do you want a different kind?" he asked and was about to wave the waitress before I stopped him.

"Oh no, it's fine it's just it's been three days since I've had a drink so I'm just making sure I can do this. You know cutting back from a whole bottle to just a glass, it's kinda a big deal," I said not meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella, I mean you don't have to have any drinks if you don't want. I wasn't sure if you had quit cold turkey or not," Edward said.

"I did because I had no other choice, but I think one glass of wine is fine, just make sure I'm not tempted by more okay?" I asked half joking. He nodded and squeezed my hand before bringing it to his lips and kissing it.

The rest of dinner was spent enjoying our food and talking about good experiences we had in life between the time we had last saw each other and now. Edward told me sheepishly how he would buy tabloid magazines just to see what I was up to, to make sure I was okay. I laughed and apologized that he had to resort to that and made him swear to never buy one of them again. He promised and then told me about a trip to Japan he went on last year for an international tournament. We compared each other's passports to see who traveled the most and I won by three.

Throughout dinner I could feel a slight buzz running through me from the wine and my body was craving for more but I tried to ignore it and kept my self engaged in conversation with Edward instead. He ended up having a few beers himself and we were both nice and relaxed and all worries were out the window.

After dinner we drove back to Forks. "Edward, do you want to have coffee at your place?" I asked shyly.

He looked at me a little surprised and nodded. "Sounds good to me, maybe we could watch a movie or something?" he suggested.

"Okay, I'll just call Charlie and tell him not to wait up," I said as I started dialing his number and heard Edward take a sharp inhale of breath.

Edward's POV

Bella wanted to come back to my place. All night I had been trying to find ways to suggest it but I didn't want to sound too forward, then she asked her self. I was more than ecstatic and couldn't wait to be alone with her. Just Bella and Edward with no one else to bother us.

We pulled up to my house and I opened the door for Bella and led us inside. I noticed Bella take a deep breath and turned to her. "Are you okay?" I asked with concern.

"I think so," she said softly. "I just haven't been here in so long."

I nodded in understanding and realized that it would've been with Alice.

"Is her room still up there?" Bella asked timidly.

I sighed softly. "Somewhat. Her prized possessions and little trinkets are and photos, but it's more like an office now."

Bella nodded and then headed to the couch and sat down. "New furniture?" she asked.

"Ya, since it's now a vacation home for my parents they pretty much refurbished everything. You know how Esme is with decorating."

Bella smiled. "Yeah she even wanted to decorate my room once but luckily Alice convinced her not too."

I went to the movie shelf and grabbed a couple and gave Bella a choice. "_Walk the Line _or _Big Fish?"_ I asked and then regretted the first choice.

I think Bella saw the wince on my face. "My life's too close to _Walk the Line, _so _Big Fish _it is," she said smoothly to deflect any of my worry.

"Do you mind if I get a drink?" Bella asked as she stood up.

"Not at all but I could get it for you," I offered as I was about to stand but she pushed me back down.

"It's okay, I still know my way around your kitchen," she smiled. "Do you want anything?"

"I think I'm fine, thanks," I said in return as she walked off.

The movie had started and Bella wasn't back yet so I decided to make sure she was alright. I headed into the kitchen and found her standing in front of the open refrigerator with a bottle of wine in one of her hands.

"Bella are you okay?" I asked quickly.

She turned to me and her eyes looked so scared and then they looked down to the bottle. "I'm sorry Edward, I just wanted water and then I saw this and I've been trying to fight not having any this whole time," Bella sobbed out.

I ran over to her and grabbed the bottle from her hand and placed it on the counter and wrapped her in a hug. "Bella it's okay, you don't need to apologize, and you resisted drinking it so no harm done right?" I asked as I lifted her chin up and forced her to look at me. She nodded and blinked out a few tears.

"Edward, I just want to be good for you. I don't want to be this evil, wrong person anymore," she cried into my chest.

I hugged her tightly. "Bella you aren't evil or wrong, your perfect for me, remember I love you," I soothed into her as I nuzzled my face in her hair.

She moved her head to the side until our lips met and she began to passionately kiss me. I returned the kiss until our tongues were intertwining with each other. Bella pressed me up into the counter and was rubbing her hands up my shirt until the buttons popped off then ran her small hands in my hair and gently pulling at it.

I lifted Bella up and she straddled her self around me and I turned us until she was sitting on the counter and I was between her legs while we were still frantically kissing. I moaned into her neck as she licked my ear. "Oh Bella oh god, I love you so much…" I trailed off and moaned again as she rubbed herself against my hard self.

"Edward I want you so badly, I love you so much," she purred into my ear and I almost came right there. Bella began to wiggle out of her panties and I helped her remove them and then she reached for my pants and unbuckled them until I was free. She began stroking my hard dick and I moaned out louder in ecstasy. I took my fingers and placed them in between her legs and began rubbing till she moaned back just as loud. Bella wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer to her till my tip was right next to her entrance. I looked up into her eyes to make sure it was what she wanted. She was biting her lower lip and her eyes were pleading with lust and love. She pulled me closer with one final tug until I put myself all the way inside her. She let out a scream of pleasure as I moaned with the contact my dick made with her wetness. She withered her hips as I worked myself in and out of her. We were both panting like crazy, letting over five years worth of tension out in this one single act of pleasure. I felt her tighten around me and then she screamed out in ecstasy as she came all over my dick. I pressed my lips hard into hers and rode her out until I came as well and let out a ultra satisfied groan.

I collapsed onto Bella as she laid on the counter, both of our hearts beating out of control. I placed a tender kiss on her lips which she returned. "Edward, that was….amazing. I love you so much," Bella purred out between breaths.

"I love you too," I said sweetly as I helped her off the counter. We headed back to the couch where I laid down with her on top of me until we both fell asleep.


End file.
